A feeling of anticlimax smote the gathering when Sir Augustus Bimley
rose to address it. Endor Must Go had been taken at its word. The
delegates to the Charwoman’s Conference felt a sense of desolation,
which the fervent language they now heard could not remove. Moreover,
Britain’s Best, etc., was fairly under way, his eyes in a fine frenzy
rolling, when suddenly there happened a strange thing.
The U. P. masterpiece in sky signs had not been merely snuffed out; it
had been eclipsed. But in a literal sense it was now outshone. From
above the City Hall in gigantic letters there flamed suddenly forth
across Market Square the amazing legend:
JOHN ENDOR IS JANNOCK
The effect was immediate; and it was dramatic. It broke up the meeting.
Indignation, moreover, ran so high that it came within an ace of
producing a riot in the heart of the city. The friends of the U. P.
candidate so deeply resented having such an important piece of their
ordnance stolen and used against them, that some of the more turbulent
spirits needed persuasion from the police to return quietly to their
homes.
Next day the Blackhampton _Mercury_ and other U. P. journals sternly
demanded a public inquiry into the whole affair. None was needed
really, for everybody knew the cause. All over the City it was said
that “the Old Man had got at” the electricians, the chief constable and
the city engineer. In the statelier words of the _Planet_ newspaper,
“Such an episode reflected the deepest discredit upon the city of
Blackhampton.” All the same, it was a coup. The enemy’s Long Tom had
been audaciously taken from under its nose. It was now being used with
deadly effect by the other side.
An attempt was made to bring to book the culprit-in-chief, but it was
not successful. Such a bird was too old to be caught napping. And
for some mysterious reason the efforts that were made to repair the
mischief fared no better. In spite of every precaution, the electric
current of “Endor Must Go” failed night after night, while neither the
British climate nor untoward circumstance was allowed to interfere with
the opposition sky sign “John Endor is Jannock.”
This sinister fact brought woe to the camp of Sir Stuyvescent Milgrim.
The moral effect was considerable; the whole city was kept laughing.
It was just the sort of thing, said the U. P. agent, that was likely
to lose the election. In the meantime, the comedy of the Firework
Fizzle was worked for all it was worth by its ingenious author. At
every public meeting, in alluding to it, Sir Munt was able to make new
points, while the original devisers of the stunt waxed more furious.
All kinds of analogies, humorously damaging, were drawn from this
affair. Soon all the world began to see that every audacious stroke of
badinage was one nail the more in the enemy’s coffin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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