There are, I hear, who bound in plainer calf From every item always tax one half-- A sapient plan! which he, who draws the bill, Can well defeat without a Turpin’s skill. ’Tis but to double what he means to score, And thus hath plunder found another door;-- A place of entrance smuggled, as it were, Thro’ one, who should prevent intrusion there! I leave the cause with which my strain began; For why again the same dull topics scan? What Cross decides will not be right in course,-- Of new delays, and fresh appeals the source! The ground, law’s hopeless victim trod before, Must be re-trac’d with tardy pace once more. Years of long trial he must pass again, Till death shall finish, not his suit but pain; And if, perchance, his twentieth heir shall see An end to this heart-eating misery, To pay large extra-costs the wretch can’t fail,-- His fate St. Lukes, the Workhouse, or a Jail. A Court of Equity is well defin’d By those, who call it “very, very kind,--” The dwarf, who to a giant friend applied, Obtain’d large conquests fighting by his side; But every battle lopp’d away a limb. Suitors! are you not very much like him? Without that giant’s aid in vain the war; But his is all the profit, yours the scar. What boots success, if dearly bought with life? Defend me, Heaven! from such victorious strife. Ye dwarfs, no more such strong protection seek, Unequal friendships always hurt the weak! Ye injured, shun all help from Chancery! The Court’s a hell, of which death keeps the key!!! Still are there cases, where it seems to shine, But ’tis like icicle in iron mine,-- Bright for a time, and brilliant beams it’s ray, But soon it breaks or melting fades away;-- Thus when the Court, a Foundling Hospital, On orphan babes[55] it’s parent hand lets fall, The deed so charitably good appears, That fond delusion hails the sight with tears;-- But soon alas! those tears of joy will turn To drops of bitter woe, the soul to burn-- E’en babes must pay of guardianship the price, And feel the gripe of legal avarice. The masters word must ever guide their fate In person, conduct, marriage, or estate. Some trees want felling; houses claim repair; A lease is sought; are the conditions fair? Receivers would upon a farm distrain; Guardians of too small maintenance complain; In every case, before an act be done, Must approbation from the Court be won; Aye, e’n ere Hymen’s torch can hallow love, The Court and Master must its joys approve.