The Coward: A Novel of Society and the Field in 1863Morford, Henry
History
The Coward: A Novel of Society and the Field in 1863
Morford, Henry
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
"And _I_ am sorry for it all the while, night and day, in my prayers and in
my dreams," answered Elsie Brand, with a sigh. "Hark!" as the tap of the
drum came across from the lateral road before-mentioned. "There is another
reminder of the curse, and one that comes nearer home. Do you remember,
Margaret, that I shall soon have a brother, and you a lover, separated from
us and in terrible danger? They say Harrisburgh must be taken, unless a
very large body of troops can reach it at once. The Reserves will probably
go on, to-night, and Carlton will probably accept his old commission again.
I do want him to do his duty, Margaret, if it _is_ his duty; but I hope
that he will not think so--that he will not go away."
"And _I_ hope that he _will_!" answered Margaret, her tall form drawn up to
its full height, and a look of stern pride upon her face that could not
very well be mistaken.
"To go into danger--perhaps to death?" asked Elsie, looking sadly at the
proud Sibylline face.
"To a thousand deaths, if necessary, rather than towards the least
suspicion of a want of true manhood!"
"Ah, you do not know the trembling fear of a sister's love!" said Elsie,
with a sigh.
"I know a love fifty times deeper!" said Margaret, the pride still on her
face, and yet that ever-returning flush coming up again to say that if love
had not conquered pride it had at least divided the dominion. "Listen,
Elsie Brand, to some words that you may as well understand now as ever.
There is no one near to hear us, and so it is almost like speaking before
heaven alone. I love your brother, deeply, devotedly, with all the power of
my nature--so devotedly that if that love should be wrenched away from my
heart by any circumstance, I know that my life would thenceforth be but one
long, wretched mockery of existence. Happy natures like yours, Elsie, do
not know the absolute agony that lies in such love. And yet I could give up
that love, and my life with it, and would do so, before I would live, love,
and yet _despise_!"
"Despise?--are you speaking of Carlton--of my brother?" asked the young
girl, apparently a little lost in the mysterious energy of her companion's
words.
"I said that I could _not_ despise," Margaret Hayley went on. "I must not,
or we have no future. Do you know that I should have reverenced your
brother more, even if I did not love him better, if he had not refused the
commission in the army tendered him at the commencement of the war? I might
have wept, perhaps mourned--but I should have idolized. Now, I only love a
mortal like myself, where I might have been worshipping a hero!"
"Or sobbing over a grave!" said Elsie, with a sigh which told how easily
she might have been brought to illustrate the word she used.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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