"Do you see what a poor miserable wretch I am?" he went on, apparently forgetful that any one besides his sister might be within hearing, and she so absorbed in the grief and shame of the revelation that she possessed no more forethought. "Think of me as an officer in my regiment, and know with what a reddened face I must have walked the streets when we paraded, conscious that if suddenly called to duty--even the quelling of a mob at the street-corner--I should be obliged to disgrace myself at once and forever! Think what I have suffered since the war broke out!--commission after commission offered me--loving my country as I believe man never loved it before--and yet not daring to strike one blow in its behalf. Obliged to make slight excuses when others have inquired why I did not go to the war--obliged to wear a double face, a mask, everywhere and at all times--dreading detection every day, and in that detection perhaps the loss of my proud father's life and of the love that has made the only hope of my own--cursing the omen that unwittingly gave me the brand of the coward in my very name--racked and tortured thus, and yet obliged to hold an honorable place among my fellow-men--it has been too hard, Elsie, too hard! And now to lose all! If _she_ has learned to suspect me--I know her brave heart and her proud nature--I shall lose her, the richest, noblest thing on earth, half grasped, to be mourned for as never man yet mourned for woman! Do help me, Elsie! Help me to conceal my shame--to deceive her, yes--God help me!--to deceive _her_ before whom my very soul should be laid bare--so that she will not know me for the miserable wretch and coward that I am!" And all this while his face was wrought and contorted, at short intervals, by those fearful spasms of shame and mental suffering; and ever and anon his hands locked together and seemed to wring themselves even beyond his own volition. How different he looked, at that moment, from the handsome, noble man, in the full pride of mature adolescence, who had stepped upon that piazza but a few moments before! "I would do any thing in the world to help you, Carlton; but what _can_ I do?" faltered the young girl, who saw no light beyond the thick, black cloud of shame and ruin slowly settling down on the head of her beloved brother. "Help me to conceal the truth"--he went on--"to enforce any excuse for not leaving the city at this moment! I know it is base and contemptible, but it is for a good purpose, Elsie--to save a heart that is already distracted, and a life that must be wrecked without it. We may never be placed in the same circumstances again--the war may soon be ended--if she can only be kept from knowing this, I may never be placed in the same peril again, and my whole life shall be one long proof that I am not otherwise unworthy of the woman I love so madly."