The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasionsCabell, James Branch
Science
The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasions
Cabell, James Branch
Allegories; Authors -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction
For what Kennaston showed me was the metal top of a cold cream jar. I am
sure of this, for Harrowby’s Crême Cleopatre is one of the most popular
articles our firm manufactures. I hesitate to tell you how many thousand
husbands may find at will among their wives’ possessions just such a
talisman as Kennaston had discovered. I myself selected the design for
these covers when the stuff was first put in the market. They are sealed
on, you may remember, with gray wax, to carry out the general idea that
we are vending old Egyptian secrets of beauty. And the design upon these
covers, as I have since been at pains to make sure, is in no known
alphabet. P. N. Flaherty (the artist implicated) tells me he “just made
it up out of his head”—blending meaningless curlicues and dots and
circles with an irresponsible hand, and sketching a crack across all,
“just to make it look ancient like.” It was along this semblance of a
fracture—for there the brittle metal is thinnest—that the cover first
picked up by Kennaston had been broken. The cover he showed me was, of
course, complete.... So much for Mr. Flaherty’s part in the matter; and
of hieroglyphic lore, or any acquaintance with heathenry beyond his
gleanings from the moving pictures, I would be the last person to
suspect him.
It was natural that Mrs. Kennaston should have used Harrowby’s Crême
Cleopatre habitually; for indeed, as my wife had often pointed out, Mrs.
Kennaston used a considerable amount of toilet preparations. And that
Mrs. Allardyce should have had a jar of Harrowby’s Crême Cleopatre in
her handbag was almost inevitable: there is no better restorative and
cleanser for the complexion, after the dust and dirt of a train-journey,
as is unanimously acknowledged by Harrowby & Sons’ advertisements.
But there is the faith that moves mountains, as we glibly acknowledge
with unconcernment as to the statement’s tremendous truth; and Felix
Kennaston had believed in his talisman implicitly from the very first.
Thus, through his faith, and through we know not what soul-hunger, so
many long hours, and—here is the sardonic point—so many contented and
artistically-fruitful hours of Kennaston’s life in the flesh had been
devoted to contemplation of a mirage. It was no cause for astonishment
that he had more than once surprised compassion and wonder in his wife’s
eyes: indeed, she could hardly have failed to suspect his mind was
affected; but, loving him, she had tried to shield him, as is the way of
women.... I found the whole matter droll and rather heartbreaking. But
the Wardens of Earth were uncompromised, so far as I could prove.
Whatever windows had or had not been unbarred, there remained no
proof....
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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