In the centre of the pine wood called Coilla Doraca there lived
not long ago two Philosophers. They were wiser than anything else
in the world except the Salmon who lies in the pool of Glyn Cagny
into which the nuts of knowledge fall from the hazel bush on its
bank. He, of course, is the most profound of living creatures, but
the two Philosophers are next to him in wisdom. Their faces looked
as though they were made of parchment, there was ink under their
nails, and every difficulty that was submitted to them, even by
women, they were able to instantly resolve. The Grey Woman of Dun
Gortin and the Thin Woman of Inis Magrath asked them the three
questions which nobody had ever been able to answer, and they were
able to answer them. That was how they obtained the enmity of these
two women which is more valuable than the friendship of angels. The
Grey Woman and the Thin Woman were so incensed at being answered
that they married the two Philosophers in order to be able to
pinch them in bed, but the skins of the Philosophers were so thick
that they did not know they were being pinched. They repaid the
fury of the women with such tender affection that these vicious
creatures almost expired of chagrin, and once, in a very ecstasy
of exasperation, after having been kissed by their husbands, they
uttered the fourteen hundred maledictions which comprised their
wisdom, and these were learned by the Philosophers who thus became
even wiser than before.
In due process of time two children were born of these marriages.
They were born on the same day and in the same hour, and they were
only different in this, that one of them was a boy and the other
one was a girl. Nobody was able to tell how this had happened, and,
for the first time in their lives, the Philosophers were forced
to admire an event which they had been unable to prognosticate;
but having proved by many different methods that the children were
really children, that what must be must be, that a fact cannot be
controverted, and that what has happened once may happen twice,
they described the occurrence as extraordinary but not unnatural,
and submitted peacefully to a Providence even wiser than they were.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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