"Yes, Heaven knows, villain as I have been, that they have all snapped
_but one_"--and he caught the hand of the poor girl, and tried to place
it on his heart, but his strength failed him. She wept aloud at this
unexpected burst of feeling, and the contagion of her tears extended
even to the stony heart of the wounded man himself. The iron had at
length entered into his soul, and what the retrospect of his own
ill-spent life--what the intensity of his present agony, and the
fearful prospect before him through eternity, could not wring from
him--now flowed at the sight of the poor girl's misery, as if his bosom
had been a tender woman's. He wept aloud.
"Yes--my evil courses have but too justly estranged all my kindred from
me; one friend has dropped off after another, until, in the prime of
life, after having squandered a handsome patrimony, and having been
educated as a gentleman, with every thing around me that ought to have
made me happy, to this have I come at last!" He groaned heavily. "You
see before you, Mr Brail, not a _fiend, but an everyday villain_--a man
not naturally wicked--one who did not love evil for evil's sake, but
who became the willing slave of his passions, and held no law, human or
divine, in reverence, when they were to be gratified. Ay, William
Adderfang, here you lie on a death-bed from violence--from a wound
sustained in the act of stabbing and robbing another, to gratify
revenge, and the paltry desire of repossessing money squandered at the
gaming-table, and with the certainty that, if a miracle interposed, and
you recovered, your life would still be taken on the scaffold. Ay,
here you lie," continued he with increasing energy, "without one soul
in the wide world to say God bless you, or to close your eyes when you
are gone, but my poor Antonia here."
Here the unhappy girl's anguish became uncontrollable, although she
could not have understood what he said, and she threw herself on the
bed in such a position as to give her paramour great pain; a shudder
passed over his face, and he endeavoured to turn himself round, so as
to gain an easier position. In the action the wound in his side burst
out afresh, and presently a dark puddle coagulated on the sheet at his
right side. The doctor of the prison was in immediate attendance, and
applied styptics to stanch the bleeding; all the time he seemed in a
dead faint--he made no movement, and when the wound was dressed, and he
was replaced on his bed, I did not know, as I bent over him, whether
the spirit had fled or not.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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