The little woman rose up, and waved her hand with dignity. "We must not
enter into such questions," she said; "if you will be so very kind as to
tell me when you would like me to go."
I don't know what incoherent words the curate stammered forth: that she
should stay as long as she liked; that she must make her arrangements
entirely to suit herself; that he had never thought of wishing her to
go. This was what he said in much disturbance and agitation of mind
instead of the other formula he had rehearsed about having no further
need for her services. All this Miss Brown received with the pale
smiling of the injured and magnanimous; while the girls looked fiercely
on their father, leaving him alone and undefended. When he got away he
was so exhausted that he did not feel able to go out into the parish,
but withdrew to his study, where he lurked, half paralyzed, all the rest
of the day, like the criminal abandoned by woman and by man, which he
felt himself to be.
And I will not attempt to describe the commotion which this announcement
raised in the rest of the house. Miss Brown kept up that smile of
magnanimous meekness all day. She would not give in. "No, my dears," she
said, "there is nothing to be said except that it is a little sudden. I
think your papa is quite right, and that you are getting beyond me."
"It is not papa," said Cicely; "it is that horrible Aunt Jane."
"And she was quite right," said the magnanimous governess; "quite right.
She saw that I was not strong enough. It is a little sudden, that is
all; and we must not make mountains out of mole-hills, my dears." But
she, too, retired to her room early, where, sitting forlorn at the
window, she had a good cry, poor soul; for she had begun to grow fond of
this rude solitude, and she had no home.
As for the girls, after their first dismay and wrath the tide turned
with them. They were going out into the unknown, words which sound so
differently to different ears--so miserable to some, so exciting to
others. To Cicely and Mab they were exciting only. A new world, new
faces, new people to know, new places to see, new things to hear;
gradually they forgot their wrath alike and their emotion at this
thought. A thrill of awe, of fear, of delicious curiosity and wonder ran
through them. This checked upon their very lips those reproaches which
they had been pouring forth, addressed to their father and to Aunt Jane.
Would they be miserable after all? should not they, rather, on the
whole, _like_ it, if it was not wrong to say so? This first silenced,
then insinuated into their lips little broken words, questions and
wonderings which betrayed to each the other's feelings. "It might
be--fun, perhaps," Mab said at last; then looked up frightened at
Cicely, wondering if her sister would metaphorically kill her for saying
so. But then a gleam in Cicely's eyes looked as if she thought so too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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