The Curiosities of Ale & Beer: An Entertaining History: (Illustrated with over Fifty Quaint Cuts) — John Shaqi
The Curiosities of Ale & Beer: An Entertaining History: (Illustrated with over Fifty Quaint Cuts)Bickerdyke, John
History
The Curiosities of Ale & Beer: An Entertaining History: (Illustrated with over Fifty Quaint Cuts)
Bickerdyke, John
Drinking customs; Drinking songs
A whimsical old pamphlet, the writer of which must have possessed
keen powers of observation, is “_The Arraigning and Indicting of Sir
John Barleycorn, Knight_, printed for Timothy Tosspot.” Sir John is
described as of noble blood, well-beloved in England, a great support
to the Crown, and a maintainer of both rich and poor. The trial takes
place at the sign of the “Three Loggerheads,” before Oliver {21} and
Old Nick his holy father. Sir John, of course, pleads not guilty
to the charges made against him, which are, in effect, that he has
compassed the death of several of his Majesty’s loving subjects, and
brought others to ruin. Vulcan the blacksmith, Will the weaver, and
Stitch the tailor, are called by the prosecution, and depose that after
being first friendly with Sir John, they quarrel with him, and in the
end get knocked down, bruised, their bones broken, and their pockets
picked. Mr. Wheatley, the baker, complains that, whereas he was the
most esteemed by Lords, Knights and Squires, he is now supplanted by
the prisoner. Sir John, being called on for his defence, asks that
his brother Malt may be summoned, and indicates that the fault, if
any, lies mostly at Malt’s door. Malt is thereupon summoned, and thus
addresses the Court:—
“My Lords, I thank you for the liberty you now indulge me with, and
think it a great happiness, since I am so strongly accused, that I have
such learned judges to determine these complaints. As for my part,
I will put the matter to the Bench—First, I pray you consider with
yourselves, all tradesmen would live; and although Master Malt does
make sometimes a cup of good liquor, and many men come to taste it, yet
the fault is neither in me nor my brother John, but in such as those
who make this complaint against us, as I shall make it appear to you
all.
“In the first place, which of you all can say but Master Malt can make
a cup of good liquor, with the help of a good brewer; and when it is
made, it will be sold. I pray you which of you all can live without it?
But when such as these, who complain of us, find it to be good, then
they have such a greedy mind, that they think they never have enough,
and this overcharge brings on the inconveniences complained of, makes
them quarrelsome one with another, and abusive to their very friends,
so that we are forced to lay them down to sleep. From hence it appears
it is from their own greedy desires all these troubles arise, and not
from wicked designs of our own.”
_Court._—“Truly we cannot see that you are in the fault. Sir John
Barleycorn, we will show you as much favour that, if you can bring any
person of reputation to speak to your character, the court is disposed
to acquit you. Bring in your evidence, and let us hear what they can
say in your behalf.”
_Thomas the Ploughman._—“May I be allowed to speak my thoughts freely,
since I shall offer nothing but the truth?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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