English language -- Dictionaries -- Humor; English language -- Semantics -- Humor; Vocabulary -- Humor
And Satan, laying hold of Memory, said: "Come along, you scoundrel; you
make happiness wherever you are not."
Self-denial is the weak indulgence of a propensity to forego.
Men talk of selecting a wife; horses of selecting an owner.
You are not permitted to kill a woman that has injured you, but nothing
forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. You are
avenged 1440 times a day.
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine. A wife is a wine bottle.
He gets on best with women who best knows how to get on without them.
"Who am I?" asked an awakened soul.
"That is the only knowledge that is denied to you here," answered a
smiling angel. "This is Heaven."
Woman's courage is ignorance of danger; man's is hope of escape.
Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures, and manners.
In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the
original earth clinging to the roots.
The heels of Detection are sore from the toes of Remorse.
Twice we see Paradise. In youth we name it Life; in age, Youth.
There are but ten Commandments, true, But that's no hardship, friend,
to you; The unmentioned sins that tax your wit You 're not commanded to
commit.
Fear of the darkness is more than an inherited superstition--it is at
night, mostly, that the king thinks.
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, but a multitude is as
wise as its wisest member if it obeys him.
"Who art thou?" said Mercy.
"Revenge, the father of Justice."
"Thou wearest thy son's clothing."
"One must be clad."
"Farewell--I go to attend thy son."
"Thou wilt find him hiding in yonder jungle."
When God had finished this terrestrial frame
And all things else, with or without a name,
The nothing that remained within his hand
Said: "Make me into something fine and grand,
Thine angels to amuse and entertain."
God heard and made it into human brain.
If you wish to slay your enemy make haste, O make haste, for already
Nature's knife is at his throat and yours.
To most persons a sense of obligation is insupportable; beware upon whom
you inflict it.
Bear me, good oceans, to some isle
Where I may never fear
The snake alurk in woman's smile,
The tiger in her tear.
Yet bear not with me one, O deeps,
Who never smiles and never weeps.
The ninety-and-nine who most loudly demand opportunity most bitterly
revile the one who has made good use of it.
Life and Death threw dice for a child.
"I win!" cried Life.
"True," said Death, "but you need a nimbler tongue to proclaim your
luck. The child is already dead of age."
How blind is he who, powerless to discern
The glories that about his pathway burn,
Walks unaware the avenues of Dream,
Nor sees the domes of Paradise agleam!
O Golden Age, to him more nobly planned
Thy light lies ever upon sea and land.
From sordid scenes he lifts his soul at will,
And sees a Grecian god on every hill!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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