Belief and doubt -- Fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Methodists -- Fiction; New York (State) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
Mr. Ware sat up, and stared confusedly, with round eyes and parted lips,
at his companion. Instinctively his brain dragged forth to the surface
those epithets which the doctor had hurled in bitter contempt at
her--“mad ass, a mere bundle of egotism, ignorance, and red-headed
lewdness.” The words rose in their order on his memory, hard and
sharp-edged, like arrow-heads. But to sit there, quite at her side; to
breathe the same air, and behold the calm loveliness of her profile; to
touch the ribbon of her dress--and all the while to hold these poisoned
darts of abuse levelled in thought at her breast--it was monstrous. He
could have killed the doctor at that moment. With an effort, he drove
the foul things from his mind--scattered them back into the darkness.
He felt that he had grown pale, and wondered if she had heard the groan
that seemed to have been forced from him in the struggle. Or was the
groan imaginary?
Celia continued to sit unmoved, composedly looking upon vacancy.
Theron's eyes searched her face in vain for any sign of consciousness
that she had astounded and bewildered him. She did not seem to be
thinking of him at all. The proud calm of her thoughtful countenance
suggested instead occupation with lofty and remote abstractions and
noble ideals. Contemplating her, he suddenly perceived that what she had
been saying was great, wonderful, magnificent. An involuntary thrill ran
through his veins at recollection of her words. His fancy likened it to
the sensation he used to feel as a youth, when the Fourth of July reader
bawled forth that opening clause: “When, in the course of human events,
it becomes necessary,” etc. It was nothing less than another Declaration
of Independence he had been listening to.
He sank again recumbent at her side, and stretched the arm behind her,
nearer than before. “Apparently, then, you will never marry.” His voice
trembled a little.
“Most certainly not!” said Celia.
“You spoke so feelingly a little while ago,” he ventured along, with
hesitation, “about how sadly the notion of a priest's sacrificing
himself--never knowing what love meant--appealed to a woman. I should
think that the idea of sacrificing herself would seem to her even sadder
still.”
“I don't remember that we mentioned THAT,” she replied. “How do you
mean--sacrificing herself?”
Theron gathered some of the outlying folds of her dress in his hand, and
boldly patted and caressed them. “You, so beautiful and so free, with
such fine talents and abilities,” he murmured; “you, who could have the
whole world at your feet--are you, too, never going to know what love
means? Do you call that no sacrifice? To me it is the most terrible that
my imagination can conceive.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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