‘No, I will not suffer for you,’ she whispered, as if replying to
their silent menace, and she put the pistol into his hand and closed
the fingers round it. They would not keep as she placed them. At last
she left the thing on the ground by his side, then she walked rapidly
away. Before she had got far she remembered the compromising letters
she had written: she must go back and get them at any price. She found
his pocket-book; she found her three letters in it; she took them, and
replaced the pocket-book. Then she went. Just as she was leaving the
wood, the fox-terrier, which had been off on a hunting expedition, ran
up to her, smelling her dress. She put down her hand to pat its head.
It licked off a little spot of blood that soiled her first finger. She
tried to speak to it, to tell it to go to its master, but she found her
mouth was parched and dry. She could not utter a word. But it went all
the same, following the track of her footsteps into the wood.
She went through what would probably occur. He would be found alone
with a pistol. She thought of what would happen if the pistol was
identified. She had taken it from the gun-room at home; she had thought
it would add to the romance of the situation. Two of them had been
hanging on the wall; she remembered them all her life. Sometimes her
father had allowed her and her sisters to practise with them on Sunday
afternoons, much to the scandal of the neighbourhood. Kirkdale would
go to look at the body; he would be sure to recognise the pistol. She
got into the house unobserved just as the clock struck eleven. First
she went up to her bedroom and dusted her shoes; her feet were covered
with dust. She took off her stockings and wiped them clean as well as
she could without making a mess. Then she went downstairs. She had sent
her maid to bed. Nobody seemed to be up except Kirkdale and Clausen,
whom she could hear playing billiards as she passed the door. She went
down the passage, entered the gun-room, and examined the window. She
saw it was accessible from the outside. It was one of the old-fashioned
hasp bolts, so she took a rusty pocket-knife she found lying in a
forgotten heap of odds and ends and passed it between the crack of the
window. She scratched the bolt as best she could to make it appear as
if it had been opened from the outside; then she dropped the knife
outside the window, closed the door, and went to bed. She lay awake
wondering if there was any precaution she had forgotten to take; and
when at last she slept, she dreamed that she was a child again, and
that her father was alive. He was in one of his rarely affectionate
moods, dancing her on his knee and calling her his own dear little
girl. He called her mother and sisters and little Stephen to look at
her as he stood her upon the table--Mr. Clausen was there too,--and
then her father laughed and clapped his hands, and said, ‘She’s the
flower of the flock, she’s my very own daughter,’ and he rushed at the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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