They had passed without a single word spoken, down through the laurels
and guelder roses to the river bank; then he had turned to the right,
and gone along it under the dove-house, to the yew-trees. There he
had stopped, in the pitch darkness of that foliage. It seemed to her
dreadfully still; if only there had been the faintest breeze, the
faintest lisping of reeds on the water, one bird to make a sound; but
nothing, nothing save his breathing, deep, irregular, with a quiver in
it. What had he brought her here for? To show her how utterly she was
his? Was he never going to speak, never going to say whatever it was he
had in mind to say? If only he would not touch her!
Then he moved, and a stone dislodged fell with a splash into the water.
She could not help a little gasp. How black the river looked! But
slowly, beyond the dim shape of the giant poplar, a shiver of light
stole outwards across the blackness from the far bank—the moon, whose
rim she could now see rising, of a thick gold like a coin, above the
woods. Her heart went out to that warm light. At all events there was
one friendly inhabitant of this darkness.
Suddenly she felt his hands on her waist. She did not move, her heart
beat too furiously; but a sort of prayer fluttered up from it against
her lips. In the grip of those heavy hands was such quivering force!
His voice sounded very husky and strange: “Olive, this can't go on. I
suffer. My God! I suffer!”
A pang went through her, a sort of surprise. Suffer! She might wish him
dead, but she did not want him to suffer—God knew! And yet, gripped by
those hands, she could not say: I am sorry!
He made a sound that was almost a groan, and dropped on his knees.
Feeling herself held fast, she tried to push his forehead back from her
waist. It was fiery hot; and she heard him mutter: “Have mercy! Love me
a little!” But the clutch of his hands, never still on the thin silk of
her dress, turned her faint. She tried to writhe away, but could not;
stood still again, and at last found her voice.
“Mercy? Can I MAKE myself love? No one ever could since the world began.
Please, please get up. Let me go!”
But he was pulling her down to him so that she was forced on to her
knees on the grass, with her face close to his. A low moaning was coming
from him. It was horrible—so horrible! And he went on pleading, the
words all confused, not looking in her face. It seemed to her that it
would never end, that she would never get free of that grip, away from
that stammering, whispering voice. She stayed by instinct utterly still,
closing her eyes. Then she felt his gaze for the first time that evening
on her face, and realized that he had not dared to look until her eyes
were closed, for fear of reading what was in them. She said very gently:
“Please let me go. I think I'm going to faint.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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