He relaxed the grip of his arms; she sank down and stayed unmoving on
the grass. After such utter stillness that she hardly knew whether he
were there or not, she felt his hot hand on her bare shoulder. Was
it all to begin again? She shrank down lower still, and a little moan
escaped her. He let her go suddenly, and, when at last she looked up,
was gone.
She got to her feet trembling, and moved quickly from under the
yew-trees. She tried to think—tried to understand exactly what this
portended for her, for him, for her lover. But she could not. There was
around her thoughts the same breathless darkness that brooded over this
night. Ah! but to the night had been given that pale-gold moon-ray, to
herself nothing, no faintest gleam; as well try to pierce below the dark
surface of that water!
She passed her hands over her face, and hair, and dress. How long had
it lasted? How long had they been out here? And she began slowly moving
back towards the house. Thank God! She had not yielded to fear or pity,
not uttered falsities, not pretended she could love him, and betrayed
her heart. That would have been the one unbearable thing to have been
left remembering! She stood long looking down, as if trying to see the
future in her dim flower-beds; then, bracing herself, hurried to the
house. No one was on the veranda, no one in the drawing-room. She
looked at the clock. Nearly eleven. Ringing for the servant to shut the
windows, she stole up to her room. Had her husband gone away as he had
come? Or would she presently again be face to face with that dread, the
nerve of which never stopped aching now, dread of the night when he was
near? She determined not to go to bed, and drawing a long chair to the
window, wrapped herself in a gown, and lay back.
The flower from her dress, miraculously uncrushed in those dark minutes
on the grass, she set in water beside her at the window—Mark's favourite
flower, he had once told her; it was a comfort, with its scent, and hue,
and memory of him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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