“So!” he said: “Sleeping this way doesn't spoil your dreams. Don't let
me disturb them. I am just going back to Town.”
Like a frightened bird, she stayed, not stirring, gazing at his back as
he leaned in the window, till, turning round on her again, he said:
“But remember this: What I can't have, no one else shall! Do you
understand? No one else!” And he bent down close, repeating: “Do you
understand—you bad wife!”
Four years' submission to a touch she shrank from; one long effort not
to shrink! Bad wife! Not if he killed her would she answer now!
“Do you hear?” he said once more: “Make up your mind to that. I mean
it.”
He had gripped the arms of her chair, till she could feel it quiver
beneath her. Would he drive his fist into her face that she managed to
keep still smiling? But there only passed into his eyes an expression
which she could not read.
“Well,” he said, “you know!” and walked heavily towards the door.
The moment he had gone she sprang up: Yes, she was a bad wife! A wife
who had reached the end of her tether. A wife who hated instead of
loving. A wife in prison! Bad wife! Martyrdom, then, for the sake of a
faith in her that was lost already, could be but folly. If she seemed
bad and false to him, there was no longer reason to pretend to be
otherwise. No longer would she, in the words of the old song:—'sit and
sigh—pulling bracken, pulling bracken.' No more would she starve for
want of love, and watch the nights throb and ache, as last night had
throbbed and ached, with the passion that she might not satisfy.
And while she was dressing she wondered why she did not look tired. To
get out quickly! To send her lover word at once to hasten to her while
it was safe—that she might tell him she was coming to him out of prison!
She would telegraph for him to come that evening with a boat, opposite
the tall poplar. She and her Aunt and Uncle were to go to dinner at
the Rectory, but she would plead headache at the last minute. When the
Ercotts had gone she would slip out, and he and she would row over to
the wood, and be together for two hours of happiness. And they must make
a clear plan, too—for to-morrow they would begin their life together.
But it would not be safe to send that message from the village; she must
go down and over the bridge to the post-office on the other side, where
they did not know her. It was too late now before breakfast. Better
after, when she could slip away, knowing for certain that her husband
had gone. It would still not be too late for her telegram—Lennan never
left his rooms till the midday post which brought her letters.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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