And they went on talking, but of what Lennan no longer knew, lost in
this sudden feeling of sick fear. In the presence of these 'English
Grundys,' so superior to all vulgar sensations, he could not give vent
to his alarm; already they viewed him as unsound for having fainted.
Then he grasped that there had begun all round him a sort of luxurious
speculation on what might have happened to the Stormers. The descent was
very nasty; there was a particularly bad traverse. The 'Grundy,' whose
collar was not now crumpled, said he did not believe in women climbing.
It was one of the signs of the times that he most deplored. The mother
of the young 'Grundys' countered him at once: In practice she agreed
that they were out of place, but theoretically she could not see
why they should not climb. An American standing near threw all into
confusion by saying he guessed that it might be liable to develop their
understandings. Lennan made for the front door. The moon had just come
up over in the South, and exactly under it he could see their mountain.
What visions he had then! He saw her lying dead, saw himself climbing
down in the moonlight and raising her still-living, but half-frozen,
form from some perilous ledge. Even that was almost better than this
actuality of not knowing where she was, or what had happened. People
passed out into the moonlight, looking curiously at his set face staring
so fixedly. One or two asked him if he were anxious, and he answered:
“Oh no, thanks!” Soon there would have to be a search party. How soon?
He would, he must be, of it! They should not stop him this time. And
suddenly he thought: Ah, it is all because I stayed up there this
afternoon talking to that girl, all because I forgot HER!
And then he heard a stir behind him. There they were, coming down
the passage from a side door—she in front with her alpenstock and
rucksack—smiling. Instinctively he recoiled behind some plants. They
passed. Her sunburned face, with its high cheek-bones and its deep-set
eyes, looked so happy; smiling, tired, triumphant. Somehow he could not
bear it, and when they were gone by he stole out into the wood and threw
himself down in shadow, burying his face, and choking back a horrible
dry sobbing that would keep rising in his throat.
IX
Next day he was happy; for all the afternoon he lay out in the shade of
that same wood at her feet, gazing up through larch-boughs. It was so
wonderful, with nobody but Nature near. Nature so alive, and busy, and
so big!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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