She fell asleep at last, and dreamed that she was in a boat alone on the
river near her country cottage, drifting along among spiky flowers
like asphodels, with birds singing and flying round her. She could move
neither face nor limbs, but that helpless feeling was not unpleasant,
till she became conscious that she was drawing nearer and nearer to
what was neither water nor land, light nor darkness, but simply some
unutterable feeling. And then she saw, gazing at her out of the rushes
on the banks, a great bull head. It moved as she moved—it was on both
sides of her, yet all the time only one head. She tried to raise her
hands and cover her eyes, but could not—and woke with a sob.... It was
light.
Nearly six o'clock already! Her dream made her disinclined to trust
again to sleep. Sleep was a robber now—of each minute of these few days!
She got up, and looked out. The morning was fine, the air warm already,
sweet with dew, and heliotrope nailed to the wall outside her window.
She had but to open her shutters and walk into the sun. She dressed,
took her sunshade, stealthily slipped the shutters back, and stole
forth. Shunning the hotel garden, where the eccentricity of her early
wandering might betray the condition of her spirit, she passed through
into the road toward the Casino. Without perhaps knowing it, she was
making for where she had sat with him yesterday afternoon, listening
to the band. Hatless, but defended by her sunshade, she excited the
admiration of the few connoisseurs as yet abroad, strolling in blue
blouses to their labours; and this simple admiration gave her pleasure.
For once she was really conscious of the grace in her own limbs,
actually felt the gentle vividness of her own face, with its nearly
black hair and eyes, and creamy skin—strange sensation, and very
comforting!
In the Casino gardens she walked more slowly, savouring the aromatic
trees, and stopping to bend and look at almost every flower; then, on
the seat, where she had sat with him yesterday, she rested. A few paces
away were the steps that led to the railway-station, trodden upwards
eagerly by so many, day after day, night after night, and lightly or
sorrowfully descended. Above her, two pines, a pepper-tree, and a palm
mingled their shade—so fantastic the jumbling of trees and souls in this
strange place! She furled her sunshade and leaned back. Her gaze,
free and friendly, passed from bough to bough. Against the bright sky,
unbesieged as yet by heat or dust, they had a spiritual look, lying
sharp and flat along the air. She plucked a cluster of pinkish berries
from the pepper-tree, crushing and rubbing them between her hands to
get their fragrance. All these beautiful and sweet things seemed to be a
part of her joy at being loved, part of this sudden summer in her heart.
The sky, the flowers, that jewel of green-blue sea, the bright acacias,
were nothing in the world but love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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