Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
Her talk, he vaguely knew, made easy his sitting there. In the same
distant sense he felt that his defensive parries were not unworthy. But
all of this was not very conscious. The part of David given to their
talk was swimming along with a free stroke that the heavy touch of his
deliberation could only have disturbed. Indeed, a part of him was
absent, and was busy elsewhere. Their words rose up like a pelting fire.
By its light, David could look beyond, could peer into the spiritual
corners of the room, could see their darkness.
There seemed no affection at all: no fellowship. Even for themselves,
these persons had no affection. Their egoism was a hard and desperate
passion: fruit of some perennial resistance. David could not have
reasoned out why this should be: how affection must die in a hot
contest: how either it must die or it must share the intensity of the
combating forces and turn to passion. The way of these men and women
toward themselves had much the way of animals fiercely competing for
food and for love. In a less bitter contest they could have played
together: like children or like animals that are fed and tamed. Now they
were playing at playing. David felt, in this, their wide distinction
from animals. A whole array of impulses and thoughts muddied and
distressed what might have been the clear flow of natural conflict. They
were whipped up into a delirium of broken starts that in the end lacked
all direction. Endlessly at work, in the upholstered room, under the
gowns of silk and the starched bosoms, a scrimmage of cold desire. Some
things each desired of the others: a body, ruin, disappearance, help....
David thought his impressions strange. Surely, he was mistaken, seeing
nonsense?
No doubt, however, of what Constance Bardale was now about. He had no
idea of her goal: it was plain she was testing him. As surely as if her
capable hands had moved over his body, she took his measure.
He knew now what he was doing, with his parries. To defend himself was
to accept her gage of battle. He was meeting Constance Bardale in the
field she had chosen. This was precisely what he now no longer wanted to
do. He became silent. And she who knew a way for his defensive was
helpless against his retreat. Against his resistance, she could display
her forces, but she was scattered and spent in the emptiness before her.
David sat back in his chair, looking beyond, thinking, and gave her
nothing.
Constance Bardale got up and left him. “Let him stay alone if that is
really what he wants.” She thought in the falseness of a moment’s pique
she had been moved to rescue him from a painful solitude among the
chatter of others.
As she sat again, talking elsewhere, she had David in mind.
“What is it?” She recovered herself. “Is he a ninny or was he just
bored? I don’t think he’s a ninny.” She had intelligence to know, at
least, that he had not been frightened. There had been a calm in his
sudden withdrawal which was the contrary of fear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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