Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
She took his hand at the door, and now when the invitation she had so
unconventionally stressed would have been a mere matter of form, she
kept silent.
“Good-night, Mr. Markand.”
“Good-night, Miss Bardale.”
He was very serious and far away. She had the wit to smile and turn to
the others....
* * * * *
It was a crystal night of autumn. David and Tom could not think of
taking a car.
David was sorely troubled. He was glad Tom made no effort to talk. A
question from him would have thrown David into panic. It was about Tom
he was troubled. And about himself.
“I am afraid. I am afraid to meet a woman flirting with me. I am a
coward,” he muttered to himself. Constance Bardale had understood him
better. She had glimpsed under his sudden tenacity of refusal to meet
her, to meet even her eyes or her laughter, some deeper preoccupation
which her profane self must not be allowed to enter. But David walked
with a sense of discomfort--wide and profound--as if all life were a
garment that fitted him ill. Tom was a mere most sensitive spot where
the ungainly garment caught.
He had the sad conviction of Tom’s dishonesty from the fact that he went
so well in that dishonest group: of Tom’s equal striving to overcome, to
grasp, to possess, he could have no doubt. It was all very ugly to
David. That did not matter. It mattered painfully that Tom should be
ugly! Tom was his friend whom he loved: whose life he was entering more
and more. Who was at fault that these constant doubts flared up against
the passage?
Now he wanted to talk to Tom. Tom always took these doubts and talked
them away. He wanted Tom to dispose of the night’s new accumulation.
Tom walked on. He seemed troubled also. This was a new thought lancing
into David. His own misgivings were a shade less clear. Tom was
troubled. Perhaps Tom had a grievance against him? If he did----
“What makes you so silent?” he asked, before he knew: reflexedly as one
jumps from a danger and then looks to know what it is.
“Do you want to know?” Tom’s voice was hard. “I am going to tell you,
David. Sometimes you make it anything but easy for me.... These were my
friends. For my sake, you might have tried to be a little pleasant....”
“Wasn’t I pleasant, Tom?”
“Did you stir yourself to be? Oh, of course, I know what’s in your mind.
‘This is easy for _Tom_. _He_ takes to all that frivol naturally.’ Well,
I assure you, my dear friend, you are mistaken. I do nothing of the
sort. But I have a sense of the world and of the need of living in it.
That sense at times, fortunately for me, is greater than my sense of my
own importance. Your sulks are nothing but conceit. Believe me! If I am
distressed, it is because I am anxious. I want you to grow up. I take
you to places where you meet mature and interesting people: people with
minds. You might do me the honor of trusting my intentions: enough not
to sit there as if I had taken you to a dime museum.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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