Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
Constance Bardale had left early that Spring for Europe. David could not
say that he really missed her. He had great pleasure in looking back
upon the reality of them together: a certain satisfaction in the
prospect of her return in the Fall. He was not prompted to wish to
hasten that return. He did not know if this was missing her.
He was like the warming weather. He had his days of retrogression, even
of chill, when his mood was overcast and moist. But there was ever the
underlying progress into Summer. All of him seemed opening. All of him
was turned toward some generous source of energy within that made him
fresh and green. He was resilient with growth. The squandaries of the
world had no effect on this deep calm of his state. He moved in rhythm
and with no jarring upward. Even so does a flower, despite the crust and
the stone it must push through. The observer might have deemed him
motionless: a poor observer who could have said the same thing of the
flower.
He had said good-by to Constance naturally enough. That was the most
delightful thing about her. She compelled candor.
She moved among hat-boxes and deranged chairs draped with flowing
garments.
“David, I hope you won’t be bored without me. Come. Good-by. You had
better run along. You’ll only be in the way when aunt arrives.” She
traveled with her aunt. “If you feel like it, write me.”
She kissed him swiftly on his lips--and even then, though in her one
hand was a pair of shoes, in the other a pile of lingerie, and though
her eyes were upon the door expecting her aunt to open, still there was
passion in that moment. She was a wonderful woman: a true American in
specialization. She had managed to pack her trunk and pack away her
lover without placing passion in the bag or meticulousness on her lips.
David went satisfied, without a hint of her ingenuity in bringing this
about.
And now his emotions were relieved of a fixed objective goal. They could
waft outward, vaguely. David found delight in their vagueness.
It was the same, though less pointedly, with other dwellers in his life.
Cornelia was always and largely removed. Unconsciously, David kept her
and wanted her so. He saw her not more than once in a fortnight. He did
not really see her then. He talked to her; looked at her; listened to
the sounds of her voice which easily resolved into the accepted
syllables of words. But he was deeply unaware of her. And sadly. Since
she bled for this and was yet unwilling to shock her boy into a
knowledge of his selfishness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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