Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
“You shan’t go downtown, to-day, do you hear!” commanded Tom. “This is
a busy day for me, but if you don’t give me your word you’ll stay home,
I’ll stay home myself to make you.”
He went out and telephoned to David’s office. He came back with a
doctor. Tonsillitis.
Tom nursed him. Mrs. Lario found there was really little she could do.
David had an assortment of dainties to sip. “This won’t hurt your
throat.” He had books. He had a splendid array of cushions architected
for his back to prop him for reading.
Mrs. Deane came and found her nephew lying happy in the large front
room.
“More sun,” Tom explained. “It was no job moving the bed.”
“It is wonderful, child, how Mr. Rennard nurses you. I would no more
dream of interfering.... You do not appear to be very busy downtown, Mr.
Rennard.”
Tom laughed. “Oh, no, Mrs. Deane. Nothing to do at all. But do not give
me away.”
David understood.
“Supposing work does go to hell? It won’t. But supposing it did? Pooh!”
David could not forget such things.
Nor, in their light, could he forget Tom’s accusation that _he_ was
selfish: that _he_ had no idea of service. This one rift there was in
the harmony of Tom’s helping: a certain flavor of rebuke as he served, a
certain stress and reminder. “Here is how _I_ serve my friend.” Yet
David could not be sure. The rebuke he felt in Tom’s ministrations for
his own lazy selfishness might altogether lie in his own guilty
conscience. What did he ever do for Tom? So far as he could see, what
did he ever do for any one at all? His life was a sliding down greased
paths. Fortune or no fortune, what hold had he on the way? Lying there
on his cushioned couch, he found himself wishing Tom had not come back
so soon from work in order to see how he was. And wishing this, he felt
his guilt the more....
In flashes, like blaze in an empty sky, the emptiness of David came to
him and filled him and gave him great hurt. Whither indeed was he going,
and where was he? If Tom was querulous, irritable, weak, if Tom scoffed
at his relatives, refused to be serious about his friends and would hear
no word of his loves, what was David to complain? His relations were
nothing to Tom: he knew too well what earthy ones they were. Had David
respect for his own brief amours? Was there one of his relationships
with man or woman that was noble, that lifted him up? Was there one, who
worked for him and served him, as Tom did? Tom was faulty. Yes. But
David was a monster in that he seemed to partake neither of the virtue
nor of the sin of man. He was a trimmer. He was clamped down in some
chill Limbo. Knowledge came to him, even now, of his idle and empty
ways, like lightning in a lazy summer night: flashing and gone,
muttering afar, doing no work upon him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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