Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
Tom sat there reading. No: he was not reading. His head was bowed over
the book, but his eyes were away. He was very graceful, there in his
rocking chair, with a leg thrown over the other knee and the gentle line
of his sharp shoulders drooping down to his chin. Tom. His best friend!
David looked on him with a great love. What a clear clean face he had.
David knew that the thinning hair so faint above his high square brow
was soft like silk. That his eyes, if he saw them now, would be dim with
a moisture he could not let be tears. And the old gnarled hands: the
hands of one who struggled stintlessly and was master. What was there
wrong in Tom? Sitting across the room they had once chosen with such joy
together--“the Sun is there! Davie, think of that rare god, the Sun: he
will visit us each morning and stay all day”--was it not hard for him to
look on the years that intervened and that were somehow wrong? Why? Why
was not life the simple thing it had appeared? They had gone singing a
song together: it was not right that it should end in tears.
But now there was new strength in David; a new vantage point he seemed
mystically to have gained, where he could clamber up and look about him.
Often he had gone so far. Beating with regretful wings against a
perverse reality that prisoned him no less. No less. Now, it was less
indeed. If he came again to the conclusion at whose brink he had stood
so often, now he could follow it. No bar between him and what he decided
to do. If Tom was false and a false friend, he would step over the
brink!
Gracefully Tom sat there. And it was sure in David that if ever he had
loved, this was the loved one. There had been women whom he had
embraced, close of kin who had housed him. This was a mere comrade, a
mere fellow-man: his hand-clasp was strongest of all. But also there was
life. How little he knew of life! What a sweet hedged delirium was
music, what a close cabin his affairs downtown. Tom had taught him life.
Life of a sort Tom gave him now, as had his mother. What if he must be
born again, away, as once from her?
He had lived in a sweet dream. One walked along a road. At times, it was
garlanded in fields: at times it rose between jagged heights, or dropped
beside the spume and the roar of waters. A road, clear and straight,
and one could walk it. Here he had met Tom. They had joined hands. They
would walk the road together. The steady road. The fleeting dream
wherein he walked.... For here was no such road at all! How could one be
sure of a hand clasped at one’s side? Which were the fields and which
the mountains and which the torrents? In their delirious tangle, where
was the road?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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