"Tonight, and tomorrow night, and as many nights to follow as I
can, I'll sit on a bench in the park near the place where I kissed
you that first time. There will be people passing there, and cars
driving by; you need fear nothing from me. I choose the place to
bridle my own actions, Pat; nothing can happen while we sit there
in the view of the world.
"To write you more than this is futile. If you come, I'll be
there; if you don't, I'll understand.
"I love you."
The letter was signed merely "Nick." She stared at the signature with
feelings so confused that she forebore any attempt to analyze them.
"But I can't go," she mused soberly. "I've promised Dr. Carl. Or at
least, I can't go without telling him."
That last thought, she realized, was a concession. Heretofore she
hadn't let herself consider the possibility of seeing Nicholas Devine
again, and now suddenly she was weakening, arguing with herself about
the ethics of seeing him. She shook her head decisively.
"Won't do, Patricia Lane!" she told herself. "Next thing, you'll be
slipping away without a word to anybody, and coming home with two black
eyes and a broken nose. Won't do at all!"
She dropped her eyes to the letter. "Explanations," she reflected. "I
guess Dr. Carl would give up a hole-in-one to hear that explanation.
And I'd give more than that." She shook her head regretfully. "Nothing
to do about it, though. I promised."
The sun was slanting through the west windows; she sat watching the
shadows lengthen in the room, and tried to turn her thoughts into more
profitable channels. This was the first Sunday in many months that
she had spent alone in the house; it was a custom for herself and her
mother to spend the afternoon at the club. The evening too, as a rule;
there was invariably bridge for Mrs. Lane, and Pat was always the
center of a circle of the younger members. She wondered dreamily what
the crowd thought of her non-appearance, reflecting that her mother
had doubtless enlarged on Dr. Carl's story of an accident. Dr. Carl
wouldn't say much, simply that he'd ordered her to stay at home. But
sooner or later, Nick would hear the accident story; she wondered what
he'd think of it.
She caught herself up sharply. "My ideas wander in circles," she
thought petulantly. "No matter where I start, they curve around back to
Nick. It won't do; I've got to stop it."
Nearly time for the evening meal, she mused, watching the sun as it
dropped behind Dr. Horker's house. She didn't feel much like eating;
there was still a remnant of the exhausted, dragged-out sensation,
though the headache that had accompanied her awakening this morning had
disappeared.
"I know what the morning after feels like, anyway," she reflected with
a wry little smile. "Everybody ought to experience it once, I suppose.
I wonder how Nick--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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