The Daughter of Anderson CrowMcCutcheon, George Barr
General
The Daughter of Anderson Crow
McCutcheon, George Barr
City and town life -- Fiction; Foundlings -- Fiction; New York (State) -- Fiction
"'Tain't that, Anderson. You an' me'd have to live to be more'n a
hundred years old."
"That's so. We ain't spring chickens, are we, deary?"
She put her hard, bony hand in his and there was a suspicion of moisture
in the kindly old eyes.
"I love to hear you call me 'deary,' Anderson. We never get too old for
that."
He coughed and then patted her hand rather confusedly. Anderson had long
since forgotten the meaning of sentiment, but he was surprised to find
that he had not forgotten how to love his wife.
"Shucks!" he muttered bravely. "We'll be kissin' like a couple of young
jay birds first thing we know. Doggone if it ain't funny how a baby,
even if it is some one else's, kinder makes a feller foolisher'n he
intends to be." Hand in hand they watched the sleeping innocent for
several minutes. Finally the detective shook himself and spoke:
"Well, Eva, I got to make a bluff at findin' out whose baby it is, ain't
I? My reputation's at stake. I jest have to investigate."
"I don't see that any harm can come from that, Anderson," she replied,
and neither appreciated the sarcasm unintentionally involved.
"I won't waste another minute," he announced promptly. "I will stick to
my theory that the parents live in Tinkletown."
"Fiddlesticks!" snorted Mrs. Crow disgustedly, and then left him to
cultivate the choleric anger her exclamation had inspired.
"Doggone, I wish I hadn't patted her hand," he lamented. "She didn't
deserve it. Consarn it, a woman's always doin' something to spoil
things."
And so he fared forth with his badges and stars, bent on duty, but not
accomplishment. All the town soon knew that he was following a clew, but
all the town was at sea concerning its character, origin, and
plausibility. A dozen persons saw him stop young Mrs. Perkins in front
of Lamson's store, and the same spectators saw his feathers droop as she
let loose her wrath upon his head and went away with her nose in the air
and her cheeks far more scarlet than when Boreas kissed them, and all in
response to a single remark volunteered by the faithful detective. He
entered Lamson's store a moment later, singularly abashed and red in the
face.
"Doggone," he observed, seeing that an explanation was expected, "she
might 'a' knowed I was only foolin'."
A few minutes later he had Alf Reesling, the town sot, in a far corner
of the store talking to him in a most peremptory fashion. It may be well
to mention that Alf had so far forgotten himself as to laugh at the
marshal's temporary discomfiture at the hands of Mrs. Perkins.
"Alf, have you been havin' another baby up to your house without lettin'
me know?" demanded Anderson firmly.
"Anderson," replied Alf, maudlin tears starting in his eyes, "it's not
kind of you to rake up my feelin's like this. You know I been a widower
fer three years."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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