“The trifling ceremonies of the morning gone through, you will sally forth in search of adventures, taking that great Mart of _every_ virtue, ‘BOND STREET,’ in your way. Here it will be impossible for you (between the hours of _twelve_ and _four_) to remain, even a few minutes, without falling in with various ‘feathers of your wing,’ so true it is, in the language of Rowe, ‘you herd together,’ that you cannot fear being long alone. So soon as three of you are met, adopt a Knight of the Bath’s motto, and become literally ‘Tria juncta in uno,’ or, in other words, link your arms so as to engross the whole breadth of the pavement; the _fun_ of driving fine women, and old dons, into the _gutter_, is exquisite, and, of course, constitutes _a laugh_ of the most _humane_ sensibility. Never make these excursions without _spurs_, it will afford not only _presumptive_ proof of your _really_ keeping a horse, but the lucky opportunity of _hooking_ a fine girl by the gown, apron, or petticoat; and, while she is under the distressing mortification of disentangling herself, you and your companions can add to her dilemma by some indelicate _innuendo_, and, in the moment of extrication, walk off with an exulting exclamation of having ‘cracked the muslin.’ Let it be a fixed rule never to be seen in the LOUNGE without a _stick_, or _cane_; this, dangling in a string, may accidentally get between the feet of any female in passing; if she falls, in consequence, that can be no fault of _yours_, but the effect of her indiscretion. “By way of relief to the sameness of the scene, throw yourself loungingly into a chair at Owen’s,[45] cut up a _pine_ with the greatest _sang froid_, amuse yourself with a jelly or two, and, after viewing with a happy _indifference_ whatever may present itself, throw down a _guinea_ (without condescending to ask a question) and walk off; this will not only be politically inculcating an idea of your _seeming_ liberality upon the present; but paving the way to _credit_ upon a _future_ occasion. I had hitherto omitted to mention the necessity for previously providing yourself with _a glass_ (suspended from your button-hole by a string) the want of which will inevitably brand you with _vulgarity_, if not with indigence; for the true (and, formerly, ‘unsophisticated’) breed of _Old John Bull_ is so very much altered by _bad crosses_, and a deficiency in constitutional stamina, equally affecting the _optic nerves_, that there are very few men of fashion can see _clear_ beyond the _tip_ of the _nose_.