He was still possessed with the idea that his mother was referring to
her own guilt, and he determined at all hazards to keep her from making
any confession. He did not quite know what the course of procedure
might be during the coming days, but he knew that according to English
law no prisoner accused of murder can be obliged to answer any
questions before a judge and jury. He had, during his preliminary
trials, evaded everything which might arouse the suspicions he feared,
but if his mother told him that which he felt sure was on her lips, he
did not know what he might have to do at some future period of the
trial.
"But I must tell you, Paul. I must tell you. It will be terrible for
you. It will drive you mad. But you must know! You must! you must!"
Her voice rose almost to a shriek as she spoke, and he feared lest any
warder listening at the door might hear what she should say.
"Speak low," he whispered, "or, better still, do not speak at all. No,
don't speak, mother. I know all there is any need to know!"
"But you must hear. Yes, yes, I won't speak aloud, but you must know.
I must tell you. Paul, Paul, I--I----"
"No, no, mother, be quiet!" His voice was low and hoarse. "I tell you
nothing matters. Everything will be all right. You needn't fear for
me, I'll be a match for them all!"
"But I must tell you, Paul, even although it may drive you mad. It'll
alter everything, everything! I've found out something. To-day,
to-day----" The tones of her voice had changed, and there was a mad
intensity which he could not understand. She had grown calmer, too,
and her body had become as rigid as a stone.
"Listen, Paul," she went on, "I've found your father!"
"Is that what you wanted to tell me?" And although he was excited
beyond words, he also realised a great relief.
"Yes, I've found your father."
"My father! Who is he? You cannot mean it!"
"Yes. Don't you know? Can't you guess?"
His mind was bewildered, the blow was too stunning. After all these
years of unavailing search for the truth, to come to him like this
almost unbalanced his mind.
"No, I can't guess," he said. "How did you do it, mother? How? Where
is he?"
"The judge, the judge," she said hoarsely. She stood back from him as
she spoke, and the dim light of the room fell upon her face. She
looked years older now than she had looked when they spent their last
evening together in their home in Brunford. Her face was marked with
deep lines. Her eyes were sunken. Her hair had become dull, and her
hands trembled as though she had the palsy.
"The judge, the judge!" she repeated. "He's your father, Paul."
"The judge! What judge? Great God, you don't mean that--that----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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