When Paul entered the dock on the following morning he carried with him
a sheaf of papers, the result of the previous night's work. When he
returned to his cell he asked for writing materials, and then for
several hours worked steadily. A strange calm possessed him while he
was doing this, not without a certain sense of enjoyment, grim as the
circumstances were. He was fighting for his own life, and there was a
kind of intellectual pleasure in framing his arguments and in meeting
the statements which Mr. Bakewell had so forcibly expressed in his
final speech. He had always loved a battle of wits, and, terrible as
the circumstances were, the pleasure which an intellectual struggle
gave him was not absent even on this occasion.
When he had concluded writing he was utterly exhausted, but here his
splendid physique came to his aid, and he slept several hours
peacefully. At least he had one satisfaction. Whatever might be the
issue of the terrible day which lay before him, terrible whatever might
happen, he was an innocent man. He had struck no murderous blow, and
he could go down to the grave with a clear conscience, knowing that he
had tried to do what was right under the circumstances. Sometimes a
shadow of doubt came into his mind as to whether his mother were really
guilty of the terrible deed of which he was accused, but as he reviewed
the circumstances, and remembered what she had said to him, it seemed
as though a cold hand had gripped his heart, and it convinced him that
it was she in spite of himself. Considering all the events, he could
think of no one else who was likely to commit the deed; and so, while
he determined to fight to the very last, he could at least do his
utmost to keep any shadow of suspicion from falling on her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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