Paul turned his eyes towards the barrister in question, and then, he
could not tell why, but his heart became like lead. This was not the
man he had come to see. It was true he could not see the colour of his
hair, because It was hidden by his barrister's wig, but the face was
different from any he had ever seen in his dreams. The eyes were dark
and piercing, the features were almost classical. No, this was not the
man who had robbed his mother of her youth and of her beauty. After
this he took only an academical interest in the proceedings. He still
remained interested in the case, but only as a case; and the man Graham
was only a name to him. This fact altered his outlook for a time.
Hitherto he had fancied he knew where he might find the man whom he
called his enemy, but now he did not know; and, as a consequence,
everything became different. Not that he troubled much. He never
meant to try to do anything until he was ready. Somehow he knew that
when he set himself to struggle against the man he hated, the battle
would be long and hard; therefore he must be prepared; and he was not
ready yet--he had only just begun. That was why he did not trouble to
find him. When the time came he would surely have no difficulty in
discovering his whereabouts. Still, the visit to Manchester was not
without its effects. He saw a new vision of life, and that vision made
him discontented with being a mere operative. He would not, in the
future, be one who was led--he would be a leader.
When he returned to Brunford, therefore, he worked harder than ever.
He took classes at the Mechanics' Institute, and spent all his spare
time in study. By the time he was twenty Paul Stepaside could have
matriculated at the London University; but he never thought of doing
so. After all, what was passing examinations? It was a mere knowledge
of certain specified subjects, and he felt that these would not enable
him to perform the great work which he had set himself to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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