ROBINSON & Co. DEAR OLD SPORT,--I am afraid you misunderstood my last letter. The _Pompadoros_ are for myself; it was a hundred _I am Comings_ which I wanted for my friend Mr Smithson. I must tell you a funny thing about him; as a friend of both of us you will be interested. He collects cigar bands! I have no use for them myself; so, if it isn't troubling you, would you send the _Pompadoro_ bands to _him_, as the _I am Comings_ haven't any of their own? You might put them on the cigars to save packing. Ever your devoted fellow-clubman. GOING OUT Alone, I can get through an At Home with a certain amount of credit. No doubt, I make mistakes; no doubt people look at me and say: "Who is that person sitting all by himself in the corner, and keeping on eating muffins?" but at any rate I can make the function a tolerable one. When, however, I flutter in under the wing of my sister-in-law, with my hair nicely brushed and my tie pulled straight (she having held a review on the doorstep), then it is another matter altogether. It is then that I feel how necessary it is to say the right thing. Beatrice has pretty ears, but they are long-distance ones. We drifted apart immediately but I was sure she was listening. I found myself introduced to a tall, athletic-looking girl. "There's a great crowd, isn't there?" I said. "Can I find you some tea, or anything?" "Oh, please," she said, with a smile. I noted the smile, and thanked heaven that I had read my Lady Grove. In the ordinary way I say to strangers: "Will you take a dish of tea with me?" but just in time Lady Grove had warned me that this was wrong. Left to myself I hit upon the word "find." "Can I find you some tea?" It gives the idea of pursuit. And the "or anything" rounds it off well--as much as to say, "If I _should_ happen to come back with a sardine on toast, don't blame _me_." I found some tea after a long struggle, but by that time I had lost the athlete. It was a pity, because I was going to have talked to her about Surrey's victory over Kent at ladies' hockey. I don't know anything about hockey, but it's obvious that Surrey must play Kent some time, and it would be an even chance that Surrey would win. The good conversationalist takes risks cheerfully. Well, the international having disappeared, I was going to drink the tea myself, when I caught Beatrice's eye on me. "Will you have some tea?" I said to my neighbour. "I think a little coffee, thank you." "Certainly." I pressed the tea into the hand of a retired colonel, and hurried off. Now that shows you. Alone, I should have quoted _The Lancet_ on coffee microbes, and insisted on her having my cup of tea. This would have led us easily and naturally to a conversation on drinks and modern journalism. We should have become friends. I should have had an invitation from her mother to lunch; and I should have smoked two of her father's best cigars.