Manners and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
“If it had bin a sixty-foot bridge, an’ I could ha’ slid off into deep
water an’ blown up an’ killed both men, same as others have done, I
wouldn’t ha’ cared; but to be ditched by a shote—an’ you to help me
out—in a corn-field—an’ an old hayseed in his nightgown cussin’ me like
as if I was a sick truck-horse!... Oh, it’s awful! Don’t call me Mogul!
I’m a sewin’-machine, they’ll guy my sand-box off in the yard.”
And 007, his hot-box cooled and his experience vastly enlarged, hauled
the Mogul freight slowly to the roundhouse.
“Hello, old man! Bin out all night, hain’t ye?” said the irrepressible
Poney, who had just come off duty. “Well, I must say you look it.
Costly-perishable-fragile-immediate—that’s you! Go to the shops, take
them vine-leaves out o’ your hair, an’ git ’em to play the hose on
you.”
“Leave him alone, Poney,” said 007 severely, as he was swung on the
turn-table, “or I’ll—”
“’Didn’t know the old granger was any special friend o’ yours, kid. He
wasn’t over-civil to you last time I saw him.”
“I know it; but I’ve seen a wreck since then, and it has about scared
the paint off me. I’m not going to guy anyone as long as I steam—not
when they’re new to the business an’ anxious to learn. And I’m not
goin’ to guy the old Mogul either, though I did find him wreathed
around with roastin’-ears. ’T was a little bit of a shote—not a
hog—just a shote, Poney—no bigger’n a lump of anthracite—I saw it—that
made all the mess. Anybody can be ditched, I guess.”
“Found that out already, have you? Well, that’s a good beginnin’.” It
was the Purple Emperor, with his high, tight, plate-glass cab and green
velvet cushion, waiting to be cleaned for his next day’s fly.
“Let me make you two gen’lemen acquainted,” said Poney. “This is our
Purple Emperor, kid, whom you were admirin’ and, I may say, envyin’
last night. This is a new brother, worshipful sir, with most of his
mileage ahead of him, but, so far as a serving-brother can, I’ll answer
for him.”
“’Happy to meet you,” said the Purple Emperor, with a glance round the
crowded round-house. “I guess there are enough of us here to form a
full meetin’. Ahem! By virtue of the authority vested in me as Head of
the Road, I hereby declare and pronounce No. ・007 a full and accepted
Brother of the Amalgamated Brotherhood of Locomotives, and as such
entitled to all shop, switch, track, tank, and round-house privileges
throughout my jurisdiction, in the Degree of Superior Flier, it bein’
well known and credibly reported to me that our Brother has covered
forty-one miles in thirty-nine minutes and a half on an errand of mercy
to the afflicted. At a convenient time, I myself will communicate to
you the Song and Signal of this Degree whereby you may be recognised in
the darkest night. Take your stall, newly entered Brother among
Locomotives!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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