The Days of My Life: An AutobiographyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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The Days of My Life: An Autobiography
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret), 1828-1897
husband, pale, haughty; holding the door in his hand, and dismissing his
visitor with a formal solemnity, such as I had never seen in him before.
When Saville perceived me, he stood still for a moment, and made me a
swaggering bow, and then advanced a step as though to address me. I
bowed slightly to him, and hastened my steps to get out of his way.
"Stay an instant, madam--stay an instant," he said, with a little
excitement, while my husband still remained behind, looking on. I only
hurried in the more quickly. "Very well," he said, with a loud
exclamation--"surely, there is no reason, if you will not hear what
concerns you, that I should trouble myself about you."
I was strangely disturbed when, at last, I got into the quiet shelter of
the drawing-room. I took refuge upon a sofa, and lay down there to
recover my breath. The sight of this man, and the sound of his voice,
which I almost thought I could remember in the over-excitement of my
feelings, overpowered me with recollections. I remembered how we were
when he came--how I was disgusted with the familiarity of his first
address to me--how my father, for the moment, resisted Edgar Southcote's
claims; and how I endeavored to convince him that they were true. In
this room, where we had conversed together--looking at the very portrait
to which I had pointed, I scarcely could persuade myself that all was
real, and that this was not a dream.
Flora took my bonnet from me, and loosed my mantle, and bade me be still
and rest. "I am always so thoughtless. I am sure we ought not to have
walked so far, cousin Hester," said the penitent Flora. "I will come
down immediately, and read to you, shall I? you ought to have a good
rest." But when Flora left me, I rose from the sofa to walk about the
room. When I am disturbed in mind I cannot be still, unless, indeed, I
am very greatly disturbed, when I can do anything.
I had only been a few moments alone, when my husband came to me. I
retired to my usual seat immediately, and he came to my side. He still
looked as I had seen him at the door of his library--almost like my
father for a time--resolute, pale, stately, a man of invincible
determination, on whom words would be wasted, and whose mind no
persuasions could change. A little indignation and a little scorn united
in his look. I cannot describe how very different from his usual
appearance he was to-day.
"I have been having a visitor, Hester," he said. "I fancied you
recognised him, and I think it right you should know what he had to say.
He is--"
"Pray, do not tell me," said I hurriedly; "I know who he is--but,
indeed, I do not desire to hear his name, or anything he may have had to
say."
"You know who he is--did you know he was here, Hester?" said my husband,
looking at me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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