The Days of My Life: An AutobiographyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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The Days of My Life: An Autobiography
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret), 1828-1897
"Yes--I saw and recognised him at a window of the rectory some time
since," I said, "and Miss Saville has been telling me of him to-day--of
course, you did not suppose that I had forgotten his name, or failed to
suspect that the rector and his sister were relations of the man who
brought you to Cottiswoode."
"I have very few ways of knowing what you suspect, Hester," he said,
with some sadness, "but this you must permit me to tell you without
delay--he thinks he has found--"
"Will you do me one kindness?" I asked. "Flora is coming, and I do not
wish to hear anything he said. I can have nothing to do with it one way
or another, and it is irksome and painful to me. Indeed, I am tired and
not well, and might be excused on that score. Here is my young cousin. I
would rather you would not tell me."
He drew back with a slight haughty bow, and retired from me. "As you
will!" he said; and when Flora entered, which she did instantly, he left
the room without another word.
What a perverse miserable creature I was! Though I had refused to hear
him when he wished to speak to me, I was wretched when he was gone. When
Flora came to me book in hand to read, I permitted her, that I might
have a little uninterrupted leisure; and while she, poor girl, labored
thus for my entertainment, my mind was wandering after my husband, and
what he would have said--what could it be? Whatever it was, he was
displeased at it, and in spite of the wide and constant difference
between us, I could not forgive myself for rejecting his
confidence--though, indeed, had he returned at that moment, I cannot
answer for myself that I would not have done it again.
I could not bring my attention to Flora's book; she appealed to me for
admiration and sympathy at her own favorite passages; but the blank look
with which I met her appeal, pained, though it did not offend, the
affectionate girl. She excused _me_ to herself as she always did, and
quietly put the book away, pretending she saw the gardener going to the
conservatory, and wanted to beg a flower from him. Thus I was once more
left alone with my unreasonable and vexing thoughts. I might have heard
what he had to say, my conscience whispered me, and I recalled the
haughty withdrawal from me which marked his displeasure, with a pang
which I wondered at. It was all Saville's fault--Saville! this miserable
man, who brought disgrace and unhappiness home to his brother and
sister. I felt almost a positive hatred in my mind as I recalled him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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