The Days of My Life: An AutobiographyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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The Days of My Life: An Autobiography
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret), 1828-1897
"Because it is your proper name," I said.
I felt that he looked at me anxiously to discover my meaning, but I had
not energy enough to raise my head to give him a clearer insight into
what I thought. Then I fancied he gradually came to some understanding
of what I meant. I never addressed him by any name since our coming
home. I would not. I could not call him Harry, and I had so little
desire to make peace or to establish any convenient or natural
intercourse, that I never tried to adopt the name by which I had always
designated my cousin. Now, matters were different; I wanted to begin
upon a new foundation; I wanted to put all the past, its dream of
happiness and its nightmare of misery, alike out of my mind,--and this
was why I called him Edgar, not unkindly, rather with a sad effort at
friendship. I think he partly understood me before he spoke again.
"Yes, it is my proper name, but so was the other; and the child? you
have called your boy?"
"Harry," I said, in a faltering tone.
He must have known it, but his eye flashed brightly from baby to me,
once more with a gleam of delight. "Hester," he said, bending over me as
he placed my child in my arms again; "when you call me once more by that
name, I will know that I have regained my bride."
I bowed my head, partly in assent, partly to conceal the tears which
stole out from under my eyelids even when I closed them. I enclosed my
child in my arms, but I sat still. I had scarcely power or heart enough
to raise myself from that chair.
"Are you ill, Hester?" he asked, anxiously.
"No, only very tired," I said faintly. His lip quivered. I did not know
how it was that the simplest common words seemed to move him so. He ran
to the door of the room and called Alice, who was not far distant, to
take baby, and then he offered me his arm very gently and kindly, and
led me upstairs.
Mrs. Templeton, the housekeeper, stood without, waiting. "Mrs. Southcote
has not taken a thing since she came, sir," she said in an aggrieved
tone; "please to tell her, sir, it's very wrong; it's not fit for a
young lady, and nursing the darling baby herself, too."
"Mrs. Southcote is fatigued," said my husband, kindly, sheltering me
from this good woman's importunities. "Will you have something sent
upstairs, or shall you be able to come down to dinner, Hester? Nay, not
for me," he added, lowering his voice, "I will be sufficiently happy to
know you are at home; and you are sadly worn out, I see. Little Harry
has been too much for you, Hester."
"Oh, no, I have him always," I said quickly. Alice was carrying him
upstairs before us, and he laughed and crowed to me from her arms. When
I tried to make some answer to his baby signals, I saw his father look
at me with strange tenderness. His father, yes; and I was leaning as I
had not leant since the first month of our marriage upon my husband's
arm.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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