The Days of My Life: An AutobiographyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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The Days of My Life: An Autobiography
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret), 1828-1897
My husband entered the room after him; had they been talking, I
wonder--talking of me? I could not tell, but I was learned now in all
the changes of his face, and I saw that something had excited him. All
this evening Mr. Osborne continued to speak of me so, in a tone of
fatherly affectionateness, praise, and blame, of which it was impossible
to say that one was kinder than the other. He told little simple stories
of my girlish days--things that I had forgotten long ago--which made
Flora laugh and clap her hands, but which embarrassed me dreadfully,
and brought tears of real distress to my eyes. What was my husband
thinking?--how did he receive all this? I scarcely dared lift my eyes to
him, and then Mr. Osborne touched upon the time of our wooing, and of
our marriage. What could he mean?--this could not be mere inadvertence.
I sat trembling, bending down my head over the work in my hand, my eyes
full of tears, afraid to move lest I should betray myself, and even
Flora grew grave and smiled no longer, while Mr. Osborne went on
unmoved. Oh, my husband, what was _he_ thinking? I was glad to say
faintly that I heard baby crying, and to escape from the room--it was
more than I could bear.
Baby was not crying, but sleeping sweetly in his pretty cradle. I bent
over him to get calmness and courage from his sleeping face. Alice was
sitting by the fire, covering a soft ball with scraps of bright-colored
cloth; just one of those occupations which give the last touch of
permanence and security to the appearance of home. It was for baby, of
course--he had already one or two toys of the simplest baby kind, and we
had been delighted to perceive the other day how he observed something
thrown up into the air like a ball. Alice looked up when I came to her,
and saw at once my disturbed face--she guessed what it was, though only
imperfectly--and she drew my chair into the corner, and made me sit down
and rest--"I thought it would be too much for you, Miss Hester," said
Alice, tenderly, "it brings back everything--I know it does--but it's
only the first, dear."
I was content to wait beside her, and recover myself; though all the
time my thoughts were busy downstairs, wondering what he might be saying
now; and I am not sure that I was not more eager to return than I had
been to make my escape. When I went back, I entered the room very
quietly, for I was considerably excited; and in my anxiety to appear
calm, overdid my part. My husband was seated nearer Mr. Osborne than he
had been, and was bending down with his arms resting upon his knees,
supporting his head in his hands, and gazing into the fire--while Mr.
Osborne talked after his lively fashion to Flora as if he was not aware
of having any other auditor--he was speaking when I came in.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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