The Days of My Life: An AutobiographyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
The Days of My Life: An Autobiography
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret), 1828-1897
meditations, or some passer-by who might guess at the secret of my
dream.
When I first saw him coming on the same solitary road, no one here but
he and I, my first impulse was to turn back and escape. I trembled and
blushed, and shrank with conscious conviction, believing he could read
all my thoughts whenever he met my eyes. Then I paused and stumbled, and
felt how ashamed and hesitating my face had become, and wondered what he
would think was the occasion of this nervous foolishness. But I do not
think he took time to observe, for he was hastening towards me, with an
eager haste which only made me shrink the more. I could not turn back, I
could not go steadily onward; I almost thought all nature which had made
this seem so beautiful, and all Cambridge who had left it to us, were in
a conspiracy against me. On came his light active figure, pushing
through the trees, and I with my faltering steps advanced slowly, going
towards him, because I could not help myself. When we met at last, he
turned and went on with me; I was not able to object to this, and even
he did not say anything about it, but merely turned by my side, subdued
his hasty pace to my slow one, and accompanied me as though it had been
quite a matter of course. I do not think we said much to each other. I
do not recollect anything that passed between us--I remember only the
twittering of the birds, the rustle of the leaves, the light stealing
off the dewy greensward and the darkening river, all those soft sweet
distant sounds that belong to a summer's night were ringing with a
subdued and musical echo in the air around us; our own steps upon the
path--the beating of our own hearts--these, and not words from each
other, were what we listened to.
Then he suddenly seemed to rouse himself, and began to speak--suddenly,
in a moment, when I was quite unprepared for it. I cannot tell how I
felt while I listened. We went on mechanically, I am sure, not knowing
or caring whither we went. He was speaking to me, pleading with me,
entreating me; and I listened with a vague, secret delight, half pain,
half pleasure, when his voice stopped at last. I became aware how I was
hanging upon it--what a great shock and disappointment it was that it
should cease. But still, in my trance of embarrassment, in my agitation
and perplexity, it never occurred to me that it was I who must speak
now--that it was I who had to decide and conclude upon this strange
eventful question, and that with still greater excitement than that with
which I had listened to him, he was waiting to hear me.
I did not speak--I went slowly on with the echo of his words ringing
into my heart--then came his voice again, agitated and breathless.
"Hester, have you nothing to say to me?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account