"She was fullgrown at the age of fourteen; somewhat slender, but quite
formed. The small portrait of her which I once showed you has but
little resemblance. Her character, if I may so express myself, was even
more mature than her person, and only betrayed itself in her movements.
A stately calm, an indifference, scarcely concealed for many things
which generally appear alluring at her age, isolated her a good deal.
Then again, when she wished to please, her smile, the gentle and timid
yielding up of herself had a charm not to be described. Few knew her
real value, her genuine upright soul; and among those few, her brother
was not. I was then too much engrossed by my studies, too eager to
solve the mysteries of physical science, to care about the secrets of
that young heart. Strange to say although I was always of a sensual
disposition, and certainly no paragon of virtue, and having eyes to see
could easily perceive, that all my conquests, compared with that
remarkable girl, appeared like housemaids beside a young princess, yet
it never entered my head to fall in love with her. When I wrote home,
it was always to my foster-mother, and she had to remind me sometimes,
of what was due to my little sister.
"She once wrote that the child who was as reserved as ever, did not
show what she felt, although my neglect seemed to hurt her, and one day
when I had forgotten even to mention her in my letter, she had cried
the whole night.
"I hastened to repair my negligence, and wrote her a most penitent
letter half in earnest, half in jest, accusing, myself of the darkest
crimes towards my faithful little sister, protesting that she was a
thousand times too kind to me a petrified egotist whose very heart had
been turned to stone, among skeletons and anatomical preparations. Her
answer was full of loving kindness, and after that our fraternal
intercourse seemed re-established on the old footing.
"Then she was fourteen years of age. On her fifteenth birthday, I
passed my examination for a doctor's degree and we exchanged merry
congratulations by telegraph.
"Then I travelled during a year with you for a companion, and you will
remember that the letters I received from home often made me slightly
uneasy.
"My mother wrote that Ellen was not well; she did not complain, but her
altered looks only too visibly testified to her sufferings. The old
family physician looked rather grave about it. Now I was well
acquainted with this good old gentleman. He was a strict adherent of
the old school, and greatly prejudiced against the stethoscope,
otherwise he had the reputation of much experience in diagnostics, and
of great caution, and attention.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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