The Death of the Gods: (Christ and Antichrist, 1 of 3)Merezhkovsky, Dmitry Sergeyevich
History
The Death of the Gods: (Christ and Antichrist, 1 of 3)
Merezhkovsky, Dmitry Sergeyevich
Biographical fiction; Julian, Emperor of Rome, 331-363 -- Fiction; Rome -- History -- Julian, 361-363 -- Fiction
Dagalaïf, Hormizdas, Ariphas, Lucilian, and Sallustius came in, headed
by the general Jovian. Many, with an eye to the future, had wished to
see on the throne this weak and timid man, who could be dangerous to
none. It was their hope under his rule to recover from the anxieties
of the tumultuous reign of Julian. Jovian possessed the art of
pleasing all. Tall and handsome in person, he in no way differed from
the crowd, aiming at all-round benevolence. Among the intimate friends
stood also a young centurion of the Imperial horse, the future famous
historian, Ammianus Marcellinus. Everyone was aware that he was
writing an account of the campaign, and amassing documents for a great
historical work. Stooping under the tent-door Ammianus drew out
tablets and stylus. A keen and impartial curiosity animated his stern
face; and with the coolness of an artist or a man of science he
prepared to take notes of the speech of the dying Emperor.
"Lift the curtain!" Julian ordered.
It was raised, and everyone stood aside so that the fresh air of the
morning might blow on the face of the dying. The door faced east, and
the view to the horizon was unbroken.
"Now put the lamp out."
The order was executed, and the tent filled with twilight. Everybody
stood waiting in silence.
"Listen, friends," Julian began; his voice was low but clear, his
whole presence breathed a triumph of mind over body, and invincible
will still gleamed from those eyes. The hand of Ammianus trembled, but
he wrote down the words uttered. He knew that he was writing on the
tables of history, and transmitting to men unborn the last words of a
great man.
"Listen, friends; my hour is come, perhaps too soon. But you see, like
an honest debtor, I am not sorry to give back my life to Nature, and
in my soul is neither pain nor fear; nothing but cheerfulness, and a
fore-feeling of the long repose. I have simply done my duty, and have
nothing to repent of. From the days when I daily expected death, like
a hunted beast, in the palace of Macellum, in Cappadocia, up to the
day of greatness when I took on the purple of the Roman Cæsar, I have
tried to keep my soul stainless, I have aspired to ends not ignoble.
If I have failed--and I have failed--to do all that I desired, you
will not forget that most of our earthly affairs are in the hands of
Destiny. And now I thank the Eternal for having allowed me to die
neither after long sickness nor at the hands of the executioner, but
on the battlefield--in mid-youth--in mid-endeavour, half-way to
achievement.... And dear, dear friends...."
His voice ceased; everyone present knelt down; many were weeping.
"No, no, my dear friends," said Julian smiling; "why weep for those
who are going back to their own country? Take heart, Victor!"
The old man tried to answer, but in vain; then hiding his face in his
hands, he sobbed aloud.
"Soft! Soft!" cried Julian; and then turning toward the sky: "Ah,
there He is!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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