The Death of the Gods: (Christ and Antichrist, 1 of 3)Merezhkovsky, Dmitry Sergeyevich
History
The Death of the Gods: (Christ and Antichrist, 1 of 3)
Merezhkovsky, Dmitry Sergeyevich
Biographical fiction; Julian, Emperor of Rome, 331-363 -- Fiction; Rome -- History -- Julian, 361-363 -- Fiction
With great precaution Juventinus held the door ajar, shuddered and
recoiled. A woman of tall stature came into the _columbarium_. Long
white vestments enveloped her and a veil hid her face. Her gait was
that of one recovering from an illness or of a very old woman. With a
sudden movement she raised the veil and Juventinus cried--
"My mother!"
Didimus rose, a severe expression on his countenance.
The woman threw herself at the feet of her son and kissed them, grey
tresses falling dishevelled over her lean and haggard face, which bore
traces of high patrician beauty. Juventinus took the head of his
mother between his hands and kissed it.
"Juventinus!" the old man called.
The young man made no response.
His mother, as if they had been completely alone, murmured hastily and
joyously--
"O my son, I thought I should never see you again; I would have set
out for Alexandria--O I would have found you even in the desert! But
now all is over, is it not? Tell me that you will not go! Wait until I
die! Afterwards do what you will...."
The old man resumed--
"Do you hear me, Juventinus?"
"Old man," answered the patrician mother, "you will not carry off a
son from her that bore him!... Listen, if it must be so, I will deny
the faith of my fathers; I will believe in the Crucified!... I will
become a nun!"
"Ah, pagan! thou canst not understand the law of Christ. A mother
cannot be a nun, nor can a nun be still a mother."
"I have borne him in anguish; he is mine!"
"It is not the soul, but the body, that you love."
The patrician woman cast at Didimus a look full of hatred.
"Be then accursed for your lying speeches," she exclaimed; "accursed,
you stealers of children--tempters of the guileless! ye black-robed
fearers of the celestial light--slaves of the Crucified! destroyers of
all beauty and joy!"
Her face changed; she drew her son yet closer, and said chokingly--
"I know thee, my son! thou wilt not go ... thou canst not...."
Old Didimus, cross in hand, stood at the open door leading to the
catacombs. He said solemnly--
"For the last time, and in the name of God, I order you, my son, to
follow me and to leave her."
Then the patrician relaxed her hold of Juventinus, and faltered--
"Then go! Let it be so.... Leave me, if thou canst!"
Tears flowed no longer down her furrowed cheeks; her arms fell rigid,
with a heart-broken gesture, to her sides. She waited. All were
silent.
"O Lord, help me ... inspire me!" Juventinus prayed in terrible
distress.
"He who will follow Me, and will not hate father and mother, wife and
children, brother and sister, and even his own life, can never be My
disciple!"
These words were recited by Didimus, turning for the last time towards
Juventinus--
"Remain in the world! Thou hast rejected Christ! Be accursed in this
age and in the age to come!"
"No, no! Cast me not out, father! I am on your side. Lord, here am
I," exclaimed Juventinus following his master.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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