Then we got out of a window on a back roof, and through alleys
to the levee, and went up the river in the morning on a steamer. I don't
know what it was all about--quite. But there were things that happened
which I minded more than that. I used to be so tired, so afraid. Then I
grew to be afraid of Jack, because I couldn't understand him, because
whenever things were very black and horrible, or seemed so to me, he
acted more amused and queer, as if it were all a kind of play in the
theatre. And he did not grow worse through all this; he did not change
at all; but I grew worse. I tried to be like him, but I couldn't. Of
course, we knew a great many people, and sometimes were fashionable.
Once in London we went to great balls and receptions. But Jack saw some
Hindoo snake-charmers, and wanted to be one, and travel about in turbans
and yellow cloth. I don't know why we didn't do that, but we came home
soon after. And we quarrelled very miserably--that is, I did. Then the
Ulics became excited about it. One night, or early in the morning, I
woke up and heard some one very angry in the next room. Jack never
became angry. It was another man. I don't know who it was. There was a
struggle. I suppose Jack struck him, and he fell. I crept and opened
the door. The window was open and Jack was dropping the man out of it
into the area. Then he laughed to himself, and turned around and saw
me." Mrs. Mavering's voice faltered, and she paused.
"It wasn't so much of an incident, only it was the last. After he left I
began to shiver and sob, and I crept to the window and closed it. I
thought he had killed him, but of course he hadn't. It was winter, and
the snow was deep in the area. He dragged the man up the steps, held him
by the collar against the railing, and brushed him and laughed. Then he
took him away, holding him up by the arm. It was characteristic, for he
never bore any person a grudge for any harm he may have done that
person. Most people do. He doesn't bear me any grudge. I came back to
Hamilton then.
"Forgive me for telling you my poor story. I thought when I began there
might be something in it to tell you particularly, but I see there
wasn't. And really it isn't much of a story, only a quantity of details.
"I suppose," she continued, slowly, after another pause, "that your
uncle would class Jack with the half civilized, or belonging really to
a past time, when everything was unsettled and everybody was
adventurous. He calls Morgan Map a primary, or aboriginal. I suppose he
would call Jack a secondary, or nomadic, and perhaps," with a little
laugh, "he calls himself a tertiary. I wonder if there are any more
degrees."
Helen sat very quietly, drooping her head, and did not smile. Without
understanding, she felt as if a hand in the darkness had struck her, as
if a vista had opened, and all along it were crouching melancholy shapes
and strange fears with faces hidden.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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