"And I should be the most wretched of men. Only think of it, and picture
me there. I should know, though there were none to tell me, I should
remember it as often as the sun rose above me, that at home, thousands
of miles away, my poor father, the righteous Bishop that once was, the
leader of his people and their good father, was the slave of the lowest
offal of them all, powerless to raise his hand for the hands that were
held over him, dumb to reprove for the evil tongues that threatened to
speak ill. And, as often as night came and I tried to sleep, I should
see him there growing old, very old, and, maybe, very feeble, and
wanting an arm to lean on, and good people to honor him and to make him
forget--yes, forget the mad shipwreck of his son's life, but with eyes
that could not lift themselves from the earth for secret shame, tortured
by fears of dishonor, self-tormented and degraded before the face of his
God. No, no, no, I can not take such sacrifice."
The Bishop had drawn nearer to Dan and tried to take his hand. When Dan
was silent he did not speak at once, and when Dan sat on his stone seat
he sat beside him, gentle as a child, and very meek and quiet, and felt
for his hand again, and held it, though Dan would have drawn it away.
Then, as they sat together, nearer the old Bishop crept, nearer and yet
nearer, until one of his trembling arms encircled Dan's neck and the
dear head was drawn down to his swelling, throbbing breast, as if it
were a child's head still, and it was a father's part to comfort it and
to soothe away its sorrows.
"Then we will go together," he said, after a time, in a faint
forlornness of voice, "to the utmost reaches of the earth, leaving all
behind us, and thinking no more of the past. Yes, we will go together,"
he said, very quietly, and he rose to his feet, still holding Dan's
hand.
Dan was suffocating with shame. "Father," he said, "I see all now; you
think me innocent, and so you would leave everything for my sake. But I
am a guilty man."
"Hush! you shall not say that. Don't tell me that. No one shall tell me
that. I will not hear it."
The hot eagerness of the Bishop's refusal to hear with his ears the
story of his son's guilt told Dan but too surely that he had already
heard it with his heart.
"Father, no one would need to tell you. You would find it out for
yourself. And think of that awful undeceiving! You would take your son's
part against the world, believing in him, but you would read his secret
bit by bit, day by day. His crime would steal in between you like a
spectre, it would separate you hour by hour, until at length you would
be forever apart. And that end would be the worst end of all. No, it can
not be. Justice is against it; love is against it. And God, I think God
must be against it, too."
"God!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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