It was on May 29, 1705--seven years and four months, as I reckon it,
back from this present time--that in punishment of my great crime the
heavy sentence fell on me that cut me off forever from the number of the
people. What happened on that day and on the days soon following it I do
partly remember with the vividness of horror, and partly recall with
difficulty and mistrust from certain dark places of memory that seem to
be clouded over and numb. When I came to myself as I was plodding over
the side of Slieu Whallin, the thunder was loud in my ears, the
lightning was flashing before my eyes, and the rain was swirling around
me. I minded them not, but went on, hardly seeing what was about or
above me, on and on, over mountain road and path, until the long day was
almost done and the dusk began to deepen. Then the strength of the
tempest was spent, and only the hinder part of it beat out from the west
a thin, misty rain, and I found myself in Rushen, on the south brow of
the glen below Carny-Gree. There I threw myself down on the turf with a
great numbness and a great stupor upon me, both in body and in mind. How
long I lay there I know not, whether a few minutes only, or, as I then
surmised, near four-and-twenty hours; but the light of day was not
wholly gone from the sky when I lifted my head from where it had rested
on my hands, and saw that about me in a deep half-circle stood a drift
of sheep, all still, save for their heavy breathing, and all gazing in
their questioning silence down on me. I think in my heart, remembering
my desolation, I drew solace from this strange fellowship on the lone
mountain-side, but I lifted my hand and drove the sheep away, and I
thought as they went they bleated, but I could hear nothing of their
cry, and so surmised that under the sufferings of that day I had become
deaf.
I fell back to the same stupor as before, and when I came to myself
again the moon was up, and a white light was around the place where I
sat. With the smell of the sheep in my nostrils I thought they might be
standing about me again, but I could see nothing clearly, and so
stretched out my hands either way. Then, from their confusion in
scurrying away, I knew that the sheep had indeed been there, and that
under the sufferings of that day I had also failed in my sight.
The tempest was over by this time, the mountain turf had run dry, and I
lay me down at length and fell into a deep sleep without dreams; and so
ended the first day of my solitary state.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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