When I awoke the sun was high, and the wheat-ear was singing on a stone
very close above me, whereunder her pale-blue egg she had newly laid. I
know not what wayward humor then possessed me, but it is true that I
reached my hand to the little egg and looked at it, and crushed it
between my finger and thumb, and cast its refuse away. My surmise of the
night before I now found to be verified, that hearing and sight were
both partly gone from me. No man ever mourned less at first knowledge of
such infirmities, but in truth I was almost beyond the touch of pain,
and a sorer calamity would have wanted strength to torture me. I rose
and set my face southward, for it was in the Calf Sound, as I
remembered, that I was to find my boat, and if any hope lived in my
heart, so numb of torpor, it was that perchance I might set sail and get
myself away.
I walked between Barrule and Dalby, and came down on the eastward of
Cronk-na-Irey-Lhaa. Then I, who had never before known my strength to
fail, grew suddenly weary, and would fain have cast me down to rest. So
to succumb I could not brook, but I halted in my walking and looked
back, and across the plain to the east, and down to the Bay of Fleswick
to the west. Many times since have I stood there and looked on sea and
sky, and mountain and dale, and asked myself was ever so fair a spot,
and if the plains of heaven were fairer? But that day my dim eyes
scoured the sea for a sail and the mountains for a man, and nothing did
they see of either, and all else was then as nothing.
Yet, though I was so eager to keep within sight of my fellow-man, I was
anxious not to come his way, and in choosing my path I walked where he
was least likely to be. Thus, holding well to the west of Fleswick, I
took the cliff-head toward Brada, and then came down between Port Erin
and Port-le-Mary to the moors that stretch to the margin of the sound.
Some few I met, chiefly shepherds and fishermen, but I lifted my eyes to
none, and none gave me salutation. This was well, for my heart was
bitter, and if any had spoken, not knowing me, I doubt not I should have
answered ill. In my great heart-torpor, half-blind, half-deaf, I was
that day like a wounded beast of the field, ranging the moorland with a
wild abandonment and dangerous to its kind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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