The Definite Object: A Romance of New YorkFarnol, Jeffery
General
The Definite Object: A Romance of New York
Farnol, Jeffery
New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"Like Mrs. Trapes? You 'n' Hermy are about the only ones then; most
every one in Mulligan's hates her an' gets scared stiff when she cuts
loose! But say, you do keep on rubbing it in, I mean about--about
thieving!"
"Probably it's your conscience, Spike."
"You won't ever go telling any one or blowing d' game on me?"
"Spike, when I make a promise I generally keep it."
"Y' see, Geoff, it ain't as though I was a--a real crook."
"You meant to be."
"But I never stole nothin' in my life, Geoff."
"Suppose I hadn't caught you?"
"Oh, well, cheese it, Geoff, cheese it! Let's talk about something
else."
"With pleasure. When does your sister return?"
"This evening, I guess. But, Geoff--say now, do I look like a real
crook--do I?"
"No, you don't, Spike, that's sure! And yet--only last night--"
"Ah, yes, I know--I know!" groaned the lad, "but I was crazy, I think.
It was the whisky, Geoff, an' they doped me too, I guess! I don't
remember much after we left till I found myself in your swell joint.
God! if I was only sure they doped me."
"Who?"
"Who? Why--gee, you nearly had me talking that time! Nix on the
questions, Geoff, I ain't goin' to give 'em away; it ain't playin'
square. Only, if two or three guys dopes a guy till a guy's think-box is
like a cheese an' his mind as clear as mud, that poor guy ain't to be
blamed for it, now, is he?"
"Why, certainly!" nodded Ravenslee.
"How d' ye make that out?"
"For being such a fool of a guy as to let other guys fool him, of
course. Sounds a little cryptic, but I guess you understand."
"Oh, I get you!" sighed Spike drearily. "But say, didn't you come out to
buy a toothbrush?"
"And other things, yes."
"Well, say, s'pose we quit chewing th' rag an' start in an' get 'em.
There's a Sheeny store on Ninth Avenue where you can get dandy shirts
for fifty cents a throw."
"Sounds fairly reasonable!" nodded Mr. Ravenslee as they turned up
Thirty-ninth Street.
"Then you want a new lid, Geoff!"
Mr. Ravenslee took off the battered hat and looked at it.
"What's the matter with this?" he enquired.
"Nothin', Geoff, only it wants burnin'," sighed Spike. "An' then--them
boots--oh, gee!"
"Are they so bad as that?"
"Geoff, they sure are the punkest pavement pounders in little old N'
York. Why, a Dago hodcarrier wouldn't be seen dead in 'em; look at th'
patches. Gee whizz! Where did His Whiskers dig 'em up from?"
"I fancy they were his own--once," answered Mr. Ravenslee, surveying his
bulbous, be-patched footgear a little ruefully.
"Well, I'll gamble a stack of blue chips there ain't such a phoney pair
in Manhattan Village."
"They're not exactly things of beauty, I'll admit," sighed Mr.
Ravenslee, "but still--"
"They're rotten, Geoff! They're all to the garbage can! They are the
cheesiest proposition in sidewalk slappers I ever piped off!"
"Hum! You're inclined to be a trifle discouraging, Spike!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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