I had been suffering for several months from eye trouble, caused by the excessive cold temperature, it being such a decided change from what I had been accustomed to for so many years. I was being treated by the government physician, but I used the trouble as a pretext to get permission from Mother Nazareth, who was in Portland, to go to Spokane to obtain the services of a specialist. The real reason for which I wished to go to Spokane was to see Mrs. Kearney and make the final arrangements for my leaving the community. About March 10, 1912, I went to Spokane. During my three weeks there I stopped at the Sacred Heart Hospital. Mrs. Kearney was friendly to the sisters of the hospital, so I had her accompany me to the office of Dr. Hopkins, who was treating me. In that manner, Mrs. Kearney and I had ample time to talk and perfect the plans for my emancipation from the everlasting demands of Rome. When the time came, I could not reconcile myself fully to the thought of leaving. My childhood and novitiate teaching of the terrible sins of the outside world would come to my mind, and I would then think that I could never leave the convent. The final test came two days before I left Spokane for my return trip to Cranbrook. I concluded that I could not get worse treatment in the world than I had received in the community; that I would not have to work any harder in the world than I had for nearly thirty-one years for the Roman Catholic system; that I would not have to live a more abasing or humiliating life in the world than I had been subjected to, by serving the meanest despotism of government; and I realized that death was preferable and a thousand times more honorable than to remain living in this sort of injustice. I loved the name "Sister of Charity," but I knew I could no longer be a real Sister of Charity under the cruel, oppressive, authoritative guidance I had endured for so many years. I knew that I could be a better Sister of Charity in the world than I could under the dictation of the Pope or his representatives. On April 2d, I returned to Cranbrook to get my few belongings and to spend a few days with my sister before making the change. My heart was so filled with what I had planned, that I could not refrain from telling her almost as soon as I arrived from Spokane. When I told her of my decision to leave the order, neither of us could restrain our feelings and it was a day of tears and sorrow. We could neither eat nor talk. So in the evening I told her that I had intended to spend several days with her before going, but as it would do neither of us any particular good, only causing grief, sorrow, and in the end probably nervous prostration, I had decided to leave on the next train, which was on the following afternoon.