The mission I was sent to was alright as far as mission goes, but I will never believe that it was alright to me, under the circumstances. If this had to be done, the blow might just as well have been applied with a little less cruelty. Of all the houses our very prosperous order owns and controls, I had to go at my years of life to this place enclosed by snowy mountains, the weather temperature being twenty to forty degrees below zero about one-half the year. Having always lived in a warm climate and not feeling well, I was unable to resist the cold. It caused me systemic disturbance and the consequence was eye trouble. The government doctor of the place said the cold did it. I had to miss Sunday mass from the first of November to the first Sunday in March. I had to sit with a blanket around me near a radiator most of the winter and a comforter over the window to keep the cold out. Splendid remedy to get one over wretched loneliness and sorrow--to make one feel religious and grateful for having worked and sacrificed ones self nearly to the end of ones life and then hear from those over you, "now you can work if you want to," and a sister stays where she is sent, even if she dies, and more bold talk of that kind. I am not tired of being a Sister of Charity, but I am more than tired living it under the conditions that we have to live it. I will never be anything else at heart than a Sister of Charity; I was that from the age of fifteen, and I will be that to my dying day. It takes nothing short of a trained hypocrite to get along in here. I do not think myself so good or of such excellent worth--I lay no claim above being an ordinary person, but if I do not have the spirit of a good religious and Sister of Charity, I am sure not so many of those I have lived with have it, and I would have to be punished to death, and then I could not in my conscience copy the leading or guiding spirits I lived with knowing all I do from daily practical life and experience for years. If what was done to me in this change is the good spirit, then I have not the least idea what good or evil spirits mean. One thing I know it did for me; I have a dreadful horror of a repetition of anything of the kind and want to remove myself from its possibility. I was not only deprived of every right, but of the least share of interest in any one thing in the community.