New York (State) -- Fiction; West (U.S.) -- Fiction
And I am going to find him, to see at least that he has a roof
over his head. God knows, he may not die for years!”
“She has got years before her too.”
“She!--What am I saying! We have plunged into those damnable inferences
and I haven't given you the facts. Wait. I shall contradict all this in
a moment. I thought, she must have done this for her children. She
must be given another chance. And I approached the thing on my very
knees--not to let her know that I knew, only to hint that I was not
unprepared, had guessed--could meet it, and help her to meet the
problems it would bring into our lives. Help her! She stood and faced
me as if I had insulted her. 'I have been your father's widow for
twenty-two years. If that fact is not sacred to you, it is to me. Never
dare to speak of this to me again!'”
“Ah,” said Moya in a long-drawn sigh, “then she did not”--
“Oh, she did, explicitly! For I went on to speak of it. It was my last
chance. I asked her how she--we--could possibly go through with it; how
with this knowledge between us we could look each other in the face--and
go on living.
“'Put this hallucination out of your mind,' she said. 'That man and I
are strangers.'”
“Was that--would you call that a lie?” asked Moya fearfully.
“You can see your answer in her face. I do not say that hers was the
first lie. It must always be foolish, I think, to evade the facts of
life as we make them for ourselves. He refused to meet his facts, from
the noblest motives;--but now I'm tangling you all up again! Rest your
head here, darling. This is such a business! It is a pity I cannot tell
you his whole story. Half the meaning of all this is lost. But--here is
a solemn declaration in writing, signed John Hagar, in which this man we
are speaking of says that Adam Bogardus was his partner, who died in the
woods and was buried by his hand; that he knew his story, all the scenes
and circumstances of his life in many a long talk they had together, as
well as he knew his own. In his delirium he must have confused himself
with his old partner, and half in dreams, he said, half in the crazy
satisfaction of pretending to himself he had a son, he allowed the
delusion to go on; saw it work upon me, and half feared it, half
encouraged it. Afterwards he was frightened at the thought of meeting
my mother, who would know him for an impostor. His seeming scruples were
fear of exposure, not consideration for her. This was why he guarded
their interview so carefully. 'No harm's been done,' he says, 'if you'll
act now like a sensible man. I'll be disappointed in you if you make
your mother any trouble about this. You've treated me as square as any
man could treat another. Remember, I say so, and think as kindly as
you can of a harmless, loony old impostor'--and he signs himself 'John
Hagar,'--which shows again how one lie leads to another. We go to find
'John Hagar.'”
“Have you shown your mother this letter? You have not? Paul, you will
not rob her of her just defense!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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