Copyright (C) 2007 by Lidija Rangelovska. The Developmental Psychology of Psychopathology 1st EDITION Sam Vaknin, Ph.D. Editing and Design: Lidija Rangelovska Lidija Rangelovska A Narcissus Publications Imprint, Skopje 2003 Not for Sale! Non-commercial edition. (c) 2002 Copyright Lidija Rangelovska. All rights reserved. This book, or any part thereof, may not be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from: Lidija Rangelovska - write to: palma@unet.com.mk or to vaknin@link.com.mk Visit the Author Archive of Dr. Sam Vaknin in "Central Europe Review": http://www.ce-review.org/authorarchives/vaknin_archive/vaknin_main.html Visit Sam Vaknin's United Press International (UPI) Article Archive Philosophical Musings and Essays http://samvak.tripod.com/culture.html Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited http://samvak.tripod.com/ Created by: LIDIJA RANGELOVSKA REPUBLIC OF MACEDONIA C O N T E N T S I. The Narcissistic Parent II. The Narcissist's Mother III. Born Alien IV. Parenting - The Irrational Vocation V. The Development of Narcissists and Schizoids VI. Serial Killers VII. Sex, or Gender VIII. The Author IX. About "After the Rain" The Narcissistic Parent By: Dr. Sam Vaknin Question: Is there a "typical" relationship between the narcissist and his family? Answer: We are all members of a few families in our lifetime: the one that we are born to and the one(s) that we create. We all transfer hurts, attitudes, fears, hopes and desires - a whole emotional baggage - from the former to the latter. The narcissist is no exception. The narcissist has a dichotomous view of humanity: humans are either Sources of Narcissistic Supply (and, then, idealised and over-valued) or do not fulfil this function (and, therefore, are valueless, devalued). The narcissist gets all the love that he needs from himself. From the outside he needs approval, affirmation, admiration, adoration, attention - in other words, externalised Ego boundary functions. He does not require - nor does he seek - his parents' or his siblings' love, or to be loved by his children. He casts them as the audience in the theatre of his inflated grandiosity. He wishes to impress them, shock them, threaten them, infuse them with awe, inspire them, attract their attention, subjugate them, or manipulate them. He emulates and simulates an entire range of emotions and employs every means to achieve these effects. He lies (narcissists are pathological liars - their very self is a false one). He plays the pitiful, or, its opposite, the resilient and reliable. He stuns and shines with outstanding intellectual, or physical (or anything else appreciated by the members of the family) capacities and achievements. When confronted with (younger) siblings or with his own children, the narcissist is likely to react in three phases: