CHILDHOOD, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth--two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin. I dreamed I stood upon a hill, and, lo! The godly multitudes walked to and fro Beneath, in Sabbath garments fitly clad, With pious mien, appropriately sad, While all the church bells made a solemn din-- A fire-alarm to those who lived in sin. Then saw I gazing thoughtfully below, With tranquil face, upon that holy show A tall, spare figure in a robe of white, Whose eyes diffused a melancholy light. "God keep you, stranger," I exclaimed. "You are No doubt (your habit shows it) from afar; And yet I entertain the hope that you, Like these good people, are a Christian too." He raised his eyes and with a look so stern It made me with a thousand blushes burn Replied--his manner with disdain was spiced: "What! I a Christian? No, indeed! I'm Christ." G.J. CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool. CLAIRVOYANT, n. A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead. CLARIONET, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet--two clarionets. CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones. CLIO, n. One of the nine Muses. Clio's function was to preside over history--which she did with great dignity, many of the prominent citizens of Athens occupying seats on the platform, the meetings being addressed by Messrs. Xenophon, Herodotus and other popular speakers. CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him. A busy man complained one day: "I get no time!" "What's that you say?" Cried out his friend, a lazy quiz; "You have, sir, all the time there is. There's plenty, too, and don't you doubt it-- We're never for an hour without it." Purzil Crofe CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain. "Close-fisted Scotchman!" Johnson cried To thrifty J. Macpherson; "See me--I'm ready to divide With any worthy person." Sad Jamie: "That is very true-- The boast requires no backing; And all are worthy, sir, to you, Who have what you are lacking." Anita M. Bobe