Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
However, Mrs. James brought me down another shirt, which I changed in the
drawing-room. I put a piece of court-plaster on my chin, and Sarah very
neatly sewed up the tear at the knee. At nine o’clock Carrie swept into
the room, looking like a queen. Never have I seen her look so lovely, or
so distinguished. She was wearing a satin dress of sky-blue—my favourite
colour—and a piece of lace, which Mrs. James lent her, round the
shoulders, to give a finish. I thought perhaps the dress was a little
too long behind, and decidedly too short in front, but Mrs. James said it
was _à la mode_. Mrs. James was most kind, and lent Carrie a fan of
ivory with red feathers, the value of which, she said, was priceless, as
the feathers belonged to the Kachu eagle—a bird now extinct. I preferred
the little white fan which Carrie bought for three-and-six at
Shoolbred’s, but both ladies sat on me at once.
We arrived at the Mansion House too early, which was rather fortunate,
for I had an opportunity of speaking to his lordship, who graciously
condescended to talk with me some minutes; but I must say I was
disappointed to find he did not even know Mr. Perkupp, our principal.
I felt as if we had been invited to the Mansion House by one who did not
know the Lord Mayor himself. Crowds arrived, and I shall never forget
the grand sight. My humble pen can never describe it. I was a little
annoyed with Carrie, who kept saying: “Isn’t it a pity we don’t know
anybody?”
Once she quite lost her head. I saw someone who looked like Franching,
from Peckham, and was moving towards him when she seized me by the
coat-tails, and said quite loudly: “Don’t leave me,” which caused an
elderly gentleman, in a court-suit, and a chain round him, and two
ladies, to burst out laughing. There was an immense crowd in the
supper-room, and, my stars! it was a splendid supper—any amount of
champagne.
Carrie made a most hearty supper, for which I was pleased; for I
sometimes think she is not strong. There was scarcely a dish she did not
taste. I was so thirsty, I could not eat much. Receiving a sharp slap
on the shoulder, I turned, and, to my amazement, saw Farmerson, our
ironmonger. He said, in the most familiar way: “This is better than
Brickfield Terrace, eh?” I simply looked at him, and said coolly: “I
never expected to see you here.” He said, with a loud, coarse laugh: “I
like that—if _you_, why not _me_?” I replied: “Certainly,” I wish I
could have thought of something better to say. He said: “Can I get your
good lady anything?” Carrie said: “No, I thank you,” for which I was
pleased. I said, by way of reproof to him: “You never sent to-day to
paint the bath, as I requested.” Farmerson said: “Pardon me, Mr. Pooter,
no shop when we’re in company, please.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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