Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
JUNE 4.—In the evening Carrie and I went round to Mr. and Mrs. Cummings’
to spend a quiet evening with them. Gowing was there, also Mr.
Stillbrook. It was quiet but pleasant. Mrs. Cummings sang five or six
songs, “No, Sir,” and “The Garden of Sleep,” being best in my humble
judgment; but what pleased me most was the duet she sang with
Carrie—classical duet, too. I think it is called, “I would that my
love!” It was beautiful. If Carrie had been in better voice, I don’t
think professionals could have sung it better. After supper we made them
sing it again. I never liked Mr. Stillbrook since the walk that Sunday
to the “Cow and Hedge,” but I must say he sings comic-songs well. His
song: “We don’t Want the old men now,” made us shriek with laughter,
especially the verse referring to Mr. Gladstone; but there was one verse
I think he might have omitted, and I said so, but Gowing thought it was
the best of the lot.
JUNE 6.—Trillip brought round the shirts and, to my disgust, his charge
for repairing was more than I gave for them when new. I told him so, and
he impertinently replied: “Well, they are better now than when they were
new.” I paid him, and said it was a robbery. He said: “If you wanted
your shirt-fronts made out of pauper-linen, such as is used for packing
and bookbinding, why didn’t you say so?”
JUNE 7.—A dreadful annoyance. Met Mr. Franching, who lives at Peckham,
and who is a great swell in his way. I ventured to ask him to come home
to meat-tea, and take pot-luck. I did not think he would accept such a
humble invitation; but he did, saying, in a most friendly way, he would
rather “peck” with us than by himself. I said: “We had better get into
this blue ’bus.” He replied: “No blue-bussing for me. I have had enough
of the blues lately. I lost a cool ‘thou’ over the Copper Scare. Step
in here.”
We drove up home in style, in a hansom-cab, and I knocked three times at
the front door without getting an answer. I saw Carrie, through the
panels of ground-glass (with stars), rushing upstairs. I told Mr.
Franching to wait at the door while I went round to the side. There I
saw the grocer’s boy actually picking off the paint on the door, which
had formed into blisters. No time to reprove him; so went round and
effected an entrance through the kitchen window. I let in Mr. Franching,
and showed him into the drawing-room. I went upstairs to Carrie, who was
changing her dress, and told her I had persuaded Mr. Franching to come
home. She replied: “How can you do such a thing? You know it’s Sarah’s
holiday, and there’s not a thing in the house, the cold mutton having
turned with the hot weather.”
Eventually Carrie, like a good creature as she is, slipped down, washed
up the teacups, and laid the cloth, and I gave Franching our views of
Japan to look at while I ran round to the butcher’s to get three chops.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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